A Blessed Existence

Television perspective

2012-01-25T17:37:00.000-06:00

I've posted time and again about the societal issues with breast feeding. It's one of my pet topics, just because it comes up so frequently, and there's never a lack of debate when it does. I have learned to state my piece and move on, because most people won't change their mind based on what I have to say anyway.

Today as I watch TV, "Toddlers and Tiaras" which is not generally a show I watch, I'm a mix of appalled and baffled. My issue here is, these people take away the primary reason most anti-breastfeeding speakers have. We shouldn't share breastfeeding (showing, telling, dolls, books, shows, etc) because it robs our children of their youth. I'm in complete disagreement with this statement, but let me tell you something I found today that I believe actually robs our daughters of their innocent childhood.

I watched a two year old be held down, screaming, so that her mom could airbrush her with a tan spray. That is just so silly to me. More make-up than a drag queen would ever wear. Pounds of fake hair piled on their heads, which in lots of cases does not match their actual hair, which just bothers me. Acrylic nails or shellac nail polish. These girls shouldn't have to worry about all of this at such a young age. That to me is making them grow up faster than they need to.

Birthday Questions

2012-01-21T20:26:00.002-06:00

I came across this list on Pinterest, and since I didn't know anything about it on his actual birthday, here it is.

1. What is your favorite color? Blue
2. What is your favorite toy? Captain America
3. What is your favorite fruit? Grapes
4. What is your favorite tv show? Wow Wow
5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Fruit
6. What is your favorite outfit? Captain America costume
7. What is your favorite game? Throw a ball
8. What is your favorite snack? Snackie bars
9. What is your favorite animal? Giraffe
10. What is your favorite song? I can’t remember
11. What is your favorite book? The Bravest Knight (Mercer Mayer)
12. Who is your best friend? Logan
13. What is your favorite cereal? Cocoa Pebbles
14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Slide
15. What is your favorite drink? Chocolate Milk
16. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas
17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? Georgie Porgie
18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Fruit
19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday? McDonald’s Chicken
20. What do you want to be when you grow up? I don’t want to grow up

You are supposed to ask these questions each year starting with their third birthday and see how they change over time.

Strike SOPA

2012-01-18T08:00:00.000-06:00

Get the help you need.

2012-01-04T18:12:00.000-06:00

While reading in the blogging world last night, I came across a blog talking about self-harm. The author had recently openly discussed her depression and self-harm issues and was replying to the thousands of comments and emails she received telling her that they had been through the same thing or that they had needed to hear someone else admit what they were keeping a secret.

In our society, we are all so judgmental of each other, comparing ourselves to everyone; when we know that we are all so very different. As different as we appear from each other on the outside, our minds and chemical make ups are just as different. Our experiences, culture, family, values are all different from other people. And that's okay, it just means that some people deal with things differently. They make decisions differently based on a different mental/emotional framework than our own.

We see mental illnesses as something dirty, something not to be discussed, when in reality many more of us deal with anxiety, depression, compulsions, personality disorders (I could go on and on) than the outside world will ever know.

This excerpt came from that blog, and I love it.

Last night an email came in from a woman whose twin daughters had both committed suicide because of depression. One had died only a few weeks ago and her mother made sure her obituary explained that depression had taken her child’s life, because she wanted people to know that it was okay to talk about it…because the more we admit these things the less we hide them away from the help we need.

It is so true and so necessary that it not be considered bad or swept under the rug. If the depression driving suicide wasn't considered to be such a taboo thing to talk about, if depression was really out in the open (meaning, considered to be real by all people-an actual issue, accepted that it's a common thing, appropriate ways of dealing with depression were openly talked about we would be in a much better place. Our world would probably still have just as much mental illness, but it would be addressed, people could get the help they need; and maybe there wouldn't be as many suicide cases.

If you are reading this and suffering from untreated depression (or you're unsure) know that you aren't alone. Those feelings you have are extremely common, but they aren't necessarily normal. You don't have to deal with them unrelieved. There is some help out there. That doesn't mean you are broken, it just means you're different. And that's ok. At least in my book it is.

Source: The Bloggess

Letter to my Nanny

2012-01-04T06:00:00.000-06:00

Dear Nanny,

It's been so long since we last talked. You've missed so much. There's so much I want to tell you, so much I want you to know, that I'm sure I'll forget most of it before I'm finished writing.

Not long after you went home I graduated from college. I only had one grandparent come to see me walk across the stage, but I know you wouldn't have missed it for anything. You would have been there if you were still here.

A year later, we took ownership of the house you lived in, the house you got married in. My bedroom now is the bedroom you slept in. I know you would be so proud of the house coming back together, and you would visit often. Mom says it still even smells the same.

We moved into the house in June of 2008 and our only baby was born in August. I wish you could had been here to hold him, to sing to him, to snuggle with him. I was off work that whole year, so I would have made sure to come pick you up so that you could come to my house and love on my baby boy.

It's really hard for me, knowing that Archer won't ever get to know you. You played such a huge role in my childhood, and I wanted my children to know the undivided love you managed to give each of your five grandchildren.

I often try to remember the stories you told me and the songs that you sang to me so that I can sing them to him. He loves "You are my Sunshine" and we sing it all the time. He's starting to get the words down on his own and likes to sing it to me. He sings to me, "I love you, a bushel and a peck" a lot too, but he forgets how it goes and it usually ends wrong, but it makes me so happy to hear him say your words.

He's so talkative like I was, except he's pretty wild like his daddy was. He will tell a story to anyone who listens, which always reminds me that he's a Rogers boy just as much as anything else. I tell him stories about you and show him your picture, just because. He told me a few weeks ago that he loves going to Poppy's house, because that's where his family is and I wished that you were there too.

There are days when I want to call you and tell you about my day, tell you about my life and ask for your advice. I keep your email address in my contact book because I can't seem to delete it.

I'm sure this will sound silly, but because I drive so far to work that I listen to books every day. I used to love laying in bed with you in the old house listening to your books. If you were still here, we could swap books and talk about them.

I hate that you're not here, that I didn't get the chance to share my family with you, but I know you are so happy where you are. So much has changed since you've been gone. My life is totally different. And I wish I had a grandma here that loved me as much as you did, that would love Archer as much as you could have.

But you'll be happy to know we're all doing pretty good. Poppy is healthy, your daughters spend time together and help each other out like they were raised to do. Your grandchildren still gather on Sunday to spend time with family, and we include our own children in the mix. It's almost like it used to be at your house, with kids every where. Almost.

It's been five years today since you went home, and I still miss you so much. I know we'll see each other again someday, and it will be a glorious reunion. Until then....

143

Sally

I'll Fly Away

2011-12-31T00:20:00.000-06:00

This time of year five years ago, I was going through one of the hardest times of my life so far. On December 22, 2006 my mom's mom, my Nanny, went in for surgery to correct a blocked bowel. They removed several inches of necrotic bowel and we thought everything would be better then.

A few days after the surgery, I was at their house on the computer, and when my grandpa came home from the hospital he told me that the doctors had asked him if my Nanny had a living will. That really scared him, and in turn really scared me. I called my mom who, at first, dismissed it and then decided we should all just go over anyway. We called everyone in my immediate family and we all went.

She was sitting in her hospital bed talking to us and laughing with us. She was almost herself. That night was the last real conversation I had with my Nanny. It was the last time she was really conscious. I'm so glad we had that night, those laughs, that conversation. I'm so glad we went. We would have regretted it for the rest of our lives had we not.

From the next day on, we all stayed at the hospital all day. Luckily, most of my family worked at a school and were on Christmas break. It started out spending all day, going home at night, coming back the next day. The longer she went without recovering, the more time we spent. The final few days, we rarely left the hospital for more than a few hours. We slept in recliners, two people per chair. We rotated schedules spending time with her and taking breaks; we took turns getting take out and bringing it to the hospital.

As terrible as it was, the reason for being there together, I feel like it's brought my family closer together on a whole new level. As crazy as it sounds, I can smile thinking of those awful days we spent holed up in that tiny little waiting room like it was some kind of hotel room just for us.

When she finally passed away on January 4th, it was like we didn't know what to do. Our lives had been in this terrible holding pattern for so long, where should we go? What's next? We eventually just went to their house, numb. We looked at pictures, cried, laughed, planned.

On January 7th we had a memorial service. We didn't have a funeral or a viewing, she didn't want that. She wanted a celebration of life, and we did as best we could. We celebrated as much as we could with broken hearts. We included the scripture and songs she had saved on her computer in a document called "favorite." We told stories about her and invited the congregation to do the same. We spent the afternoon with family talking about how great she was and how much we would miss her.

She truly was an amazing person. Even with 3 kids, 5 grand kids and a couple great grands, no one ever felt left out. She had enough love and enough time for everyone. I've never heard anyone say a bad word about her, other than my grandpa and after nearly 50 years he's entitled to a little good natured complaining, we all do it.

Her friends and family love her and miss her daily.

Nanny

Speech Practice

2011-12-30T01:00:00.001-06:00

I've been practicing the /l/ sound with my son. His cousin's name is Logan, so we're working on Logan not Wogan. He's doing really well.

Just now however I said, "Say Logan with an /l/ sound." To which he replied, "Wogan with an /l/ sound."

I've been outsmarted.

If only your mouth was closed like your mind.

2011-12-29T00:43:00.001-06:00

Why are people so stupid about breast feeding? I understand that everyone has different opinions about it, that's fine. But uneducated comments just irritate me. I don't even know why I read news articles about it, I'm too worked up to sleep.

It's not always possible to avoid going to the store all day long. Breast feeding mothers have shopping to do and errands to run, and sometimes that just happens to overlap with the time a baby needs feeding.

It's not always possible to use a cover. Sometimes baby doesn't like it, sometimes it's too hot. Most mothers prefer modesty, but there are times when feeding your baby is just more important than the judgement of others. In my state, I can legally feed my baby wherever I can legally be, so I'm sorry if I'm coverless, look away.

Not all babies will take bottles. That's a blessing and a curse. Stop suggesting it.

And everyone's favorite: feeding a baby is the same thing as going to the bathroom, so do it there. I actually saw a comment today that said "Feeding a baby is exactly like going to the bathroom." Really? That's just dumb on so many levels.

I also saw a man's comment, But if I just whip my penis out like a woman does her boob while feeding a baby does I'd get charged with indecent exposure. Don't go around showing people your privates. Again, really? So a man on the beach showing his nipples is showing his privates (and are we 12?)?

My personal favorite comment however was a woman saying that people shouldn't judge others. That no one is better than anyone and it's just about feeding a baby. Unless, that is, you're feeding a one year old, then you've crossed a line. Hmm. No judgment or anything.

There are many valid points as to why women should cover up, and many women do. It's just more comfortable for most of us. I don't really want you seeing my boob. Although, I will say, some women show more boob with a racy bathing suit or tank top than a breast feeding mother.

The moms who do force breast feeding on people frequently, do so (I believe) to gain publicity for their cause. Something they wouldn't have to do if we didn't react so negatively when someone feeds their baby in public.

The biggest enemy when it comes to breast feeding debates is the American society. Boobs are over sexualized and crammed down our throats as sexual objects when they aren't. God created (or if you don't believe, we've evolved) breasts to feed babies. It's not that it's a natural thing, it's necessary, God given thing.

So stop being dumb. Don't say dumb things, just say you prefer modesty or you wish that your child (or you) didn't have to see a naked breast and move on. Don't debate that it's the same thing as pooping or sex and that we should be allowed to do that in public too. Understand that sometimes it's too hot or we forgot a cover and that we, not only have a legal right to feed our babies, but that it's necessary.

If everyone on both sides of this never-ending debate would just give a little, it wouldn't be so bad.

Slow Cooker Balsamic Beef Roast

2011-12-27T23:19:00.000-06:00

I was having one of those clean the pantry days today. In my freezer I had a beef rump roast that I found last week on sale. Rump roasts are my favorite type of beef roast so I always grab them when they are on sale.

I found a recipe for a balsamic pork roast on pinterest and thought it sounded interesting. So then I decided to find a recipe that used balsamic with a beef roast. I choose this recipe over the pork because it didn't cook with the balsamic, but instead used it later as a glaze.

This ended up tasting really good. I don't generally branch out from my normal recipes (onion soup mix roast) so this was definitely new. It had a bit of a tang to it since my balsamic is pretty cheap and not aged much, so next time I make it I'll most likely add a bit of sugar to take the edge off. It's three year old approved though.

Balsamic Pot Roast (adapted)

3 1/2 lbs beef roast cut

2 tablespoons olive oil

5 pearl onions

2 cups baby carrots

2 cups quartered potatoes (I used miniature golds)

2 garlic cloves, crushed

1 cup beef broth

1 teaspoon low-sodium beef bouillon granules

1/4 cup balsamic vinegar

1/2 teaspoon fresh rosemary , ground

1 cup canned diced tomato (Rotel)

1/4 cup water

2 tablespoons cornstarch (last step)

In a large, heavy skillet, sear the beef in the oil until browned all over. Transfer the beef to your slow cooker. Scatter the onion, carrots and garlic around the beef. In a bowl, stir together the broth, bouillon, vinegar, and rosemary. Pour the mixture over the beef. Pour the tomatoes on top. Season with pepper. Cover the slow cooker, and cook on low for 8 hours.

When cooking time is up, remove the beef with tongs and place it on a serving platter. Scoop the onions and carrots out with a slotted spoon and pile them around the roast. Turn crock pot to high and thicken the juice left in the slow cooker with cornstarch mixed with water. Serve it with the beef.

The original recipe author notes to serve with rice or egg noodles, which I think would be amazing.

It's that time of year

2011-12-26T15:03:00.000-06:00

Christmas is over. Because the husband was out of town on the holiday, we had Christmas the weekend before. He, of course, went so overboard with gifts.

Archer got a train table. That he has yet to actually play with. He also got some dress up clothes and a play guitar. He's changed the dress up clothes so many times it's insane.

I got a new camera. :) Like I said, overboard. I actually got the camera in November because he had to get my input before buying (he was afraid of getting the wrong thing when you're spending that much money). On Christmas day I got a digital frame from Arch and a 35mm f1.8 lens from Chance.

At my parent's house we generally only buy presents for the kids, but because my parents are always ready and willing to help out my sister and I went in together to get them both Kindles. They have always been readers, and my dad has been staying up late nights reading, which makes me laugh. Quite the change from my childhood. lol

A friend of mine helped a family in need this year, and I thought that was just so amazing. It was without hesitation or judgement. It made me very proud of her and happy to be her friend. I decided at that moment that I wanted to do something similar for someone on Christmas.

I talked to my family about doing an Angel Tree or adopting a local family in some way. We all decided that would be a good idea and we would work it out later.

Before we could get a family to adopt, one of my dad's brothers posted on Facebook that he was living out of his car. He had been staying in a hotel after being evicted and couldn't afford to stay there anymore. The room was $55 a night. I called the hotel and got them (he and his gf, who works, but in San Diego, didn't make enough to support them and he works construction and hadn't worked lately) a room for the night and called later to order them a pizza for dinner. I hate seeing my family in need, but I did the only thing I could do.

I let my mom and Aunt know I wouldn't be able to help with adopting the family because I'd spent so much on that.

Then, just a few days before Christmas, another friend posted that she'd had to return all of her daughter's presents to pay her utility bills. This friend is part of the online group of women I met four years ago. My group (about 60 total, not sure how many were able to contribute, but we all helped some) pitched in a little bit of money and made that little girl's day.

I'm pretty bah-humbug about the commercial aspect of Christmas, but being blessed with enough to help others really made it that much better. It's the true Christmas spirit. And the reward isn't getting thank you's and kind words, the reward is seeing pictures of that happy little girl on Facebook, knowing that you contributed to her smile, her continued belief in the Santa who brought her presents.

The Christmas spirit moved in me this year. I'm so happy to have the friends and family I have. I'm thankful for all I have, and I most thankful that I'm able to share with others.

It's a little late, but Merry Christmas all. I hope next year you are able to help someone in need, I promise it will make your holiday even sweeter.

What a crock

2011-12-23T22:12:00.000-06:00

Before Chance and I had children (child?) he said he would never lie to them. Never tell the big Christmas lie. You know the one I'm talking about. We've all been a victim, and most of us are now perpetrators. I didn't agree with him of course, children love the magic of Christmas and I for one, wasn't ruining it for my child and the countless others he would share this news with.

Once he was here Chance apparently changed his mind. But this year, this was really the first year that Santa has played a part in our lives. Last year he knew about him, but didn't really care too much about him. This year though, the year we could have skipped the great lie, we needed Santa as a behavior management technique too much to do anything else but be big fat liars.

As I watch the Santa frenzy, I'm more and more ashamed of myself for continuing this lie. Not only do I tell the lie, I bought a $30 elf to help with the lie. And then after I bought the elf, I made a video from Santa that told my child he was on the naughty list (I'm going to hell). I may have even called Santa a few times to tell him how naughty my child was being.

All of this Santa propaganda makes is so easy to lie.

Why am I writing all of this?

Last week I overheard my husband lecturing my three year old son about lying. It was this really long spiel about lying. And then he ended it with, because you know, Santa does come to the house of little boys who tell lies. Irony at it's finest hour.

I feel more than a little guilt at disciplining my child for lying when we've done nothing since Thanksgiving but lie about Santa. :) Next year I plan to dial back the propaganda back a little. Let Christmas be about so much more than Santa.

Don't get me wrong, Archer has heard the first Christmas story and he knows about sharing with those less fortunate. But there will be much less about Santa next year at this house.

Patterns in Books

2011-12-14T16:00:00.000-06:00

I read a lot. My girlfriends and I have spent the past year in a book club, each person submitting a book and then we vote from a pool of 5 each month. So again, I read quite a bit. In addition to my book club, I also listen to audiobooks during my commute to and from work.

I like a wide variety of books. If you'll click on the reading challenge up in the top menu bar, you can see the books I've read for the year. With the upcoming movie version of The Hunger Games book, my book club friends and I have chosen to read the series and discuss it. On the drive I've been listening to The Hunger Games and at home reading The Iron Fey series.

Because I like to read YA books, I've noticed a pattern recently. When writing a YA book, it must be necessary to have a protagonist with an absent parent (most likely an absent father) and a love triangle of some kind.

Let's consider a few popular YA series. The Iron Fey for starters, is about a young girl, Meghan Chase, whose father went missing when she was six, only to find out at sixteen that her real father is the Faery King Oberon (A Midsummer Night's Dream). During the series, Meghan develops feelings for two male characters, Ash and Puck (Robin Goodfellow, also Midsummer Night's Dream). So, daddy issues-check, love triangle-check.

Up next, Twilight. Bella Swan, who grew up with her flighty single mother reunites with her near-stranger father when her mother decides to remarry a traveling baseball player. Enter love interest Edward Cullen and book two, Jacob Black. Daddy issues-check, love triangle-check.

A lesser known, but still patternly His Dark Materials (The Golden Compass) stars Lyra, a young seemingly orphaned girl who begins a quest of dark against light. Daddy issues-check, mommy issues-check; no love triangle (she's a little too young).

Which brings me to The Hunger Games. Katniss Everdeen, a young tribute from District 12 enters a bloodbath leaving behind a barely there mother, a dead father and a sister who needs caring for. During this series, we see Katniss struggle with her feelings for two boys she's not sure if she loves or not. Daddy issues-not really, but he's absent, mother issues-check, love triangle-check.

I could go on and on. The Beautiful Creatures Series, The Fallen Series, The Sally Lockhart Series (to an extent) all feature at least one missing parent and some type of love triangle or love interest. If you even want to take it a step further, YA books aren't the only books guilty of this pattern. The Southern Vampire Mysteries (Sookie Stackhouse books, True Blood) and even The Millennium series (Girl with a Dragon Tattoo) have a heroine who has missing parents and some type of issue with their love life.

We all obviously enjoy it, or these books wouldn't be selling, but I sometimes have to ask myself if writing a YA book would really be that difficult. I've read enough of them that surely I could cut and paste some ideas, put my own names and places to the story, twist it a little, and make money off of the clearly booming market.

Of all the books I mentioned, Katniss is my favorite. Katniss is strong and brave and is a better person than I am most days. She represents the type of person I would want my daughter to be if forced in the horrible situations Katniss has been in. Not that I think that everything she does is okay, there are definitely some low points to her character, but all in all, at least she doesn't wilt and die because a boy moved away. If I ever decide to get in on the YA market, I hope to write a character one can look up for the positive attributes of their character and not because their boyfriend is sparkly vampire.

YA books

Love triangle

absent/distant father

feelings for both

Christmas is here!

2011-12-05T19:39:00.001-06:00

My Christmas tree is UP! I spent the day Saturday preparing myself and my house for Christmas.

I told Archer early in the week we would put the tree up on Saturday so he would have something to look forward to. I had too much homework to do it any sooner. This also worked as a double tactic, because he behaved much better with the threat of the tree looming over his head.

I picked him up from my mom's Saturday morning and we headed home for holiday activities. First, I made him clean his room and the living room, the threat of the tree also worked for this and by two in the afternoon the house was clean, his toys were picked up, bed was made and we were ready to decorate.

I pulled the tree out from behind the couch (where it's stored) only to find that it was the small 3 foot tree I had thought, but a 6 foot slim with colored lights. (When did I buy that? Apparently last year.) Once the tree was out I had to search for the ornaments. The first two places I looked for (and found) some ornaments, I didn't find what I was looking for. Finally, in the back of the hall closet I found what I wanted, the no shatter blue ornaments.

I started supper (Beer and Paprika Beef Stew by the Pioneer Woman, love) and cookies and then we had some company for a while. The kids played and the moms talked all while Harry Potter played in the background. It felt pretty nice to have friends over and have someone to talk to. Archer gets so bored with just Mom, so it worked out perfectly. He even tried to lock the door so Sidnee couldn't leave.

Finally, after our company left, we put the ornaments on and had a finished tree. It's so much more fun doing all of this stuff with a little boy who is experiencing it for the first time. His little eyes just light up every time I show him something new about Christmas and he hasn't even seen his presents (because they aren't wrapped) yet.

He was so excited about getting the tree put up. As I was putting ornaments on he ran up and hugged my legs saying, "I love you Mommy. I love this tree. Thank you so much for putting it up." Warms my Mommy heart.

It's almost Christmas time here.

A dove for my Nanny.

My tribe ornaments. They send one each year.

My silly boy!

Finally

2011-12-04T20:12:00.001-06:00

After many years of nights away from home, homework filled weekends, constant stress, I am finished with my Master's Degree.

I turned in my final assignment, practicum hours, and portfolio for graduation last week. I have no upcoming exams, I've already taken my graduate exam. I am finished.

Now I can spend my evenings browsing on Facebook, blogging, snuggling with my guys, and early bedtimes if I want.

This isn't the end of my educational career, there are a few upcoming possibilities I'm holding out for in the future, but this is definitely a good pausing point. :)

WINNER!

2011-11-21T19:25:00.001-06:00

And the winner is:

Comment number seven is:

Congrats Devin! I'll be sending you the code asap.

Kitchen: Before and After

2011-11-20T21:24:00.001-06:00

I recently posted photos of my kitchen renovation project.

I'm sure many of you know the story behind my house, but some of you may not.

In 2007 we were deeded over my great grandparents house. It had been sitting vacant for years, my great grandparents things still in the closets. A few relatives had temporarily lived in the house, but never to make it a permanent home. In fact, when we moved in, my great grandpa's bank statements from 1920 were still in one of the closets. We ended up filling two huge dumpsters with moth eaten clothing, old broken furniture and unusable appliances.

The house is really small, so to make it functional, we had to do a lot of major remodeling including tearing out one wall and building a new one. We (and by we I mean my husband, I was 7 months pregnant at this point) built new cabinets, put in a header above said cabinets and put in recessed lighting. We tiled the floor in the kitchen and bathroom. We gutted the bathroom and have yet to finish.

Since I posted the kitchen semi-befores, I post the actual befores so you can see what we started with. (Including my grandparents things still sitting around. FYI, the computers were being stored here by another relative.)

These cabinets are on the same wall as ours, but the wall on the left has been torn out. We also built a wall on the right where our stove is now.

This wall has been removed and is now open to our living room.

This is looking into the kitchen from the living room (before the new microwave and backsplash, just haven't taken new pics) where the old wall would have been. We built the wall the stove is on.

New microwave before backsplash and island.

Finished after backsplash.

For more of the finished backsplash go here.

Giveaway!!!

2011-11-17T20:49:00.001-06:00

I am giving away 25 FREE cards Shutterfly Christmas/Holiday cards!!

To win you MUST do each of the following and

leave a comment (for each) saying you did:

1. Leave a comment telling me about your favorite Holiday and why.

For extra entries to win you may also do the following:

2. Follow my blog (and then leave a comment saying you do).

3. Like me on Facebook (and leave a comment saying you do).

4. Follow me on twitter {even though I'm lame} (and leave a comment saying you do).

5. Blog about my giveaway (and leave a comment saying you did).

6. Facebook about my giveaway (and leave a comment saying you did).

7. Tweet about my giveaway (and leave a comment saying you did.)

You have a total possible seven entries each!

I will randomly draw for a winner Monday night at 7 PM CST using random.com. Winner will be contacted via email so please leave your email address or have it linked to your account!

Good luck!

**Entries closed**

One Project Down

2011-11-15T19:17:00.001-06:00

That title is actually kind of a lie. If you'll remember my last post, we started a new project at our house. We finally put up a backsplash in the kitchen. Before my husband could finish, we needed more glue (or something). He made a trip to walmart to get more only to find some knobs that he liked for the drawers.

He got home and finished gluing the backsplash and then put on the drawer knobs. He then decided that he loved the look of the knobs so much that he wanted to finish the cabinets by putting handles on the doors. (Three and a half years later we can afford it.)

So, just a reminder, here's the before (and here is the before we moved in before)

And the after:

Here are the drawer knobs and door handles.

(Linked at I Heart Naptime)

Christmas List 2011

2011-11-12T15:00:00.001-06:00

I don't like waiting until last minute to Christmas shop, so it's stressing me out to wait until next pay day to start shopping. I need a place to create a list and save it to reference while out shopping.

Christmas List 2011

~~Chance~~

Archer-~~Train Table~~, ~~Bed~~, ~~Toys~~, ~~Stocking Stuffers~~

~~My parents-(my mom reads, so can't post here)~~

His parents-~~Tools~~, Hair Cut/Color

Kaysie-~~Bedding~~, Room Decor

Max-

Logan-~~Head Phones~~

Neiley-~~Loving Family Minivan~~

Caleb-~~Toys~~

Keagan-~~Barbie~~

Richard-~~Pajamas~~

Kason-~~Pajamas~~

Natalie-~~Toys~~

Work friends-~~BBW~~

~~Dirty Santa Girl Gift~~

Camden

Poppy's Stocking Stuffers

One down, too many to go!

Reno project

2011-11-12T12:45:00.001-06:00

We've undergone MANY construction projects since we've moved into this house a few years ago. We've been waiting and saving our money to do a mosaic tile backsplash. We couldn't decide on a tile pattern, we couldn't decide on a color even.

A few weeks back, I came across a kitchen with a bead board backsplash. I thought this was really cool looking. It's super clean looking, brightens the kitchen, and is a temporary fix. We can still go back later and tile if we want because the cost of the bead board is minimal.

Since our cabinet doors are bead board, we decided it would be a nice match to do the backboard. It also gives it a more cozy, cottagey feel. Here are the cabinets and the before with no backsplash.

Hopefully the husband will have a few minutes to get this finished tomorrow!!

Truths

2011-11-07T19:50:00.001-06:00

I was reading Cait.Create's blog this morning, and she took a moment to share some truths about herself. I thought that was really neat, a very insightful look at herself, and something I wanted to try.

1. If you know me in real life, you know chances are, I'm going to be late. I don't do this to the inconvenience of others, but sometimes I'm just late. It happens. If I have a strict deadline or place to be, I'm there on time. But without structure, I'm going to be late. I was told a long time ago that I had no concept of time, I guess that's true. I'm 25 and can't read an analog clock without careful study. I'm unaware of time passing, it might feel like 5 minutes to me and actually be 45. My body just doesn't seem to notice time is passing around me.

2. I love taking photographs. I always have. I've asked for many a camera for my childhood birthdays. I had a couple of really cool ones too. There are mountains on mountains of photos at my parents house full of goofy "photography" subjects and dogs or worse, self portraits. Now that I'm older and can afford a decent camera, I always have it charged and ready, just in case something photo-worthy happens. Which by the way, my photo-worthy standards are pretty low. :) I'll take a picture of just about anything.

3. I loathe confrontation. Hate. Gives me anxiety. Even verbal confrontation, even verbal rebuttals to me. Really, even online confrontation bothers me. Although, online it's a little easier to feign confidence, thus easier to maintain calm. I'm not sure where this came from, but it's something I've always had. My poor husband though, he's the one person I don't mind calling out. But he takes it well.

4. I am in my final semester of coursework for my master's degree, and as much as I'm dying for a break, I know I will miss it.I will miss the learning, the exchange of ideas, the professors even (for the most part). I won't miss the time away from my family, the time spent away from my family while I'm locked away doing homework, or the time spent stressing about said homework; but I will miss being in school. Since before I went to school I have loved learning. My Nanny was my babysitter when I was young and she made homework packets for me to learn with, she taught me how to read with my mom's old Dick and Jane books, and she gave me these really cool stickers every day for completing my work. I still have one of the sticker pages. I still have the notebook we kept my work in. I still love to learn.

5. I thought that I would love having some time away from my husband when he started working out of town. I frequently teased him about going to work in New York with his best friend. Now that's it's happened and he's away at lot for work, it's really hard. Much harder than I ever expected. If I lived closer to friends and he had worked away before we had kids, maybe it wouldn't be so tough. But it's hard being a single mom (to all you single moms or moms who do it alone, kudos to you) and it's hard being away from my pillar of support. Because of his hours we maybe talk 10 minutes a day and that's total. No texts or facebook messages in between, he's virtually unreachable while working. Saturday I was up sort of early and didn't talk to anyone out loud until my mom brought Archer home at 11. That's a long time in my world. But I will say, the old saying is true, absence does make the heart grow fonder, or mine anyway. Our family cherishes every moment that Daddy is home now, much more than before.

So, if you don't know me, you now have a little more insight into me.

Christmas Card

2011-11-05T17:15:00.001-05:00

Even though my previous post might seem a little anti-Christmas in November, the whole world knows you have to order your Christmas cards early or they won't be ready in time to mail for Christmas.

Last year I got 50 free cards by being part of Shutterfly's blogger program. This year only select bloggers were part of it, and I WON free cards!! Woohoo! Then I got an email from the blogger I won the free cards from about free prints. I had to redeem both because come end of November, early December I'm going to be slammed with school.

Here's a sneak peak at my card this year!

Bright Holly Jolly Holiday Card

Turn your family photos into holiday cards this season.

View the entire collection of cards.

(Disclaimer: I got a $10 off coupon for publishing this blurb about my cards, but I'll take it. I love shutterfly and if you've never used them you should!)

One Holiday at a Time

2011-11-05T13:47:00.001-05:00

It's November, so that means it's time to start buying things for Christmas and putting up the tree. Um no.

So many of my Facebook friends (Canadians are allowed) are posting about Christmas music, putting up their tree, etc.

I am not okay with this. The only thing Christmasy I'll doing this month is buying Christmas gifts. You will not come to my house and find any Christmas decorations hanging or on display before December first.

There is another holiday in the middle of Halloween and Christmas. Anyone remember Thanksgiving? Does Christmas really need two months? Not at my house.

Thanksgiving has always been special to me. My huge extended family always gathered at my grandparents house and those are some of my all time favorite memories. It's a holiday where money is no object. All you need is a little food and family.

The original meaning of Thanksgiving, the pilgrims, the indians, all that. I'm not a big believer in that whole story. I'm sure some pilgrims celebrated and dined with the indians. Then they spent 200 years trying to Christian-ize them, relocating them, stealing their land, all that. But, I do think it's a great time of year to celebrate thankfulness and being with family.

So let's build up to Thanksgiving first, Christmas starts in 26 days.

Decision Time

2011-11-03T19:23:00.002-05:00

I made a decision today after much internal debate.

I just couldn't juggle everything. My mom offered to babysit Archer so I could do homework, but I can't rely on her so much. That makes me feel guilty on top of everything else. I know she (probably) doesn't mind, but I don't want to burden her with that.

I've decided to drop my elective class in school. This still keeps me on target to graduate in December. It's not a big deal other than I won't be getting as much of a raise in January.

This allows me to focus on my practicum class, which is more important and necessary for graduation without feeling like I'm drowning. It also allows me to do fun things on the weekends or enjoy down time with my family without feeling like I should be doing homework because I'm behind.

A weight has been lifted.

Halloween 2011

2011-11-01T19:31:00.003-05:00

Superman!

Big Muscles

Super Fast!

Grrr.

My handsome guy! <3

My little guy was Superman this year. He is a super-hero fanatic! Every time I asked he named a different super-hero he wanted to be. I picked this out and we went with it. He had so much fun trick or treating.

After every house we went to he asked if his bucket was full. He ran to every house and always said thanks, even if he didn't remember to say Trick or Treat. He wasn't even scared of the people in scary costumes handing out candy. He just held his little bucket up to them. One house had a miscommunication between the dad and the son over who had given candy to who and Archer got missed. He refused to leave their porch before he got some candy in his little bucket. (He should have just left, it was lame candy anyway.)

Of course, before the trick or treating ensued, he fell down running from his cousin in my aunt's driveway and landed face (or head?) down on the concrete. Poor kid. This was his first ever, other than bruises or small scrapes, injury.

Hope every one had a wonderful Halloween! We did!

(other than the goose egg)

Down

2011-10-30T19:36:00.001-05:00

I'm in a funk.

I get this way every semester about this time, but this is worse. I have so much homework that needs to be done and not enough time to do it all in.

I need to be doing it now, but I just can't seem to make myself. Eventually I'm going to get in a mode where I do nothing but homework. I'll have to if I want to finish.

It's harder this time because I'm doing it on my own half the time. I can't just lock myself up in the bedroom and crack down because there's no one to watch Archer. I could do it when the husband was home, but he's gone so often that I don't want to waste time doing homework when we could be hanging out.

Then I think I want to start walking and exercising now that the weather is decent. Except, I have homework to do. Even though I'm not really doing it.

I'm a procrastinator. I always have been. Really, I have no self-discipline. It's not a secret. I'm very aware of it, since it affects all areas of my life. My house is never clean enough. I don't eat the way I should or exercise enough. I don't have a set schedule anywhere but at work. Archer doesn't get a bath nightly, because by the time I'm finished, the last thing I want to do is bathe him.

I know all of this about myself, I just can't seem to change it. It's a vicious cycle.

I feel so overwhelmed. There isn't enough of me to go around. I have so much on my plate, school, work, husband, kid, myself. I'm too selfish of a person to not put myself in there. I can't pretend that I don't need things too. I feel like everyone and everything is demanding something of me and I can't do it all every day. If I manage to take care of my husband, kid, and pick up the house, that's all I can do for the day. Homework and work get a smaller piece of the pie. Except homework is overwhelming and demanding and if I keep putting it off, I won't finish and I won't graduate.

Hopefully soon I'll get my homework done. And then after that I'll exercise.

I'm Sponsoring over at Cait.Create!

2011-10-29T12:12:00.000-05:00

If you saw my post yesterday about motherhood, then you saw my link to Cait+Create.

Caitlyn recently posted that she was seeking advertisers (FREE) for her blog. Her reasoning was simple, she had a little help getting her blog off the ground and now she would like to help others.

I immediately emailed her to jump in on the opportunity. There is nothing in the blog world more rewarding than getting new readers to enjoy your words, so I hope this provides a little of that.

I am so grateful for this opportunity. To be displayed in her blog as a sponsor is awesome. I hope that you all check her blog out (there is some great stuff there) and that you will stick around awhile, as I plan to guest post there in the near future.

Facebook Friends

2011-10-28T23:26:00.000-05:00

I recently saw a post on facebook talking about how superficial people were for spending so much time on facebook, how those weren't real relationships with real people.

I felt aghast at reading those words. Many of my closest confidantes are sitting at their computer as we share conversations daily.

I met these wonderful women on an online message board for expecting and new mothers. It was the best decision I'd ever made, or best coincidence I'd ever stumbled upon really. When I found out that I was pregnant way back in 2007, I started searching for resources online. One of my first stops was Ivillage's pregnancy calendar. From there, Ivillage suggested I join an expecting club and the rest is history.

We all moved our conversations from a very public, broad place like Ivillage where everything you say is moderated, to facebook. It was difficult at first to decide who we meshed with and who we clashed with, but eventually, we've worked ourselves into pretty good groups.

I wake up, check my facebook and see the things they've commented on my statuses or in the group posts. We share photos and stories daily. We offer and seek advice from one another. We laugh and joke and tease each other. Sometimes we vent and cry and sometimes we celebrate with each other.

These women were strangers. They weren't real people to me four years ago, but today, after meeting a few, they are very real. And very much a part of my real life. I cannot imagine going a day or two without checking in with them.

Technology has changed the world, and thus how we interact. I have created more new friendships online than in my physical life (I'm refusing to call it real life at this point) and that's okay. We met in a monumental time of our lives, we had nothing in common but being pregnant or having new babies and now I'm proud to say that while our children are still a major topic of conversation, we are friends because we like each other and care for each other. I'm so blessed to have these real life, real friends.

(This post is not to say that people should go around making friends with random strangers online and then meeting up with them. I invested many hours (days, years) talking to these ladies online and came to knew them on such a personal level that I trust them. Please do not see my experience as something everyone should do. Disclaimer**)

Motherhood Simplified

2011-10-28T22:58:00.000-05:00

I was reading a blog today guest hosted by Cait+Create about motherhood. At the end they asked for comments about your favorite part of motherhood. The entire blog post left me a bit sentimental, but here is what I came up with as a comment, and I wanted to share it with you.

I loved being pregnant. It was truly wonderful. I wasn't sick often, so I know that I had a better experience than many. I had an easy, safe pregnancy, so I know I was blessed.

I loved feeling him kick and swim inside my belly. I still miss it, three years later.

I loved holding my newborn close to my heart. That was his favorite way to sleep until he was over a year old. He would climb in my lap and lay his head on my chest. I loved snuggling with my small boy. I miss that even more than the kicking.

Now that he's three, I love how smart he is and how he never stops talking. He remembers everything and is constantly telling me a story about something. He is so imaginative and just a wonderful child.

The best part about motherhood is that no matter how much I miss the stage we've grown out of, the new one is just as good.

I love being a mother.

Slow Cooker Chicken Fajitas

2011-10-27T17:58:00.002-05:00

I saw a recipe on pinterest the other day for slow cooker Chicken Fajitas. I didn't want to do all of the work that it asked me to do, so I improvised.

I chopped and mixed every thing the night before so I could just toss it in the crock pot. I mixed about half of the seasoning packet with the sliced chicken in a bowl the night before and let it marinate all night.

They ended up really good so I thought I would share with you!

Even though I live a block from the grocery store, it's raining and I forgot the tortillas SO we had them in taco shells. They were so good, especially with the fresh salsa. :)

Slow Cooker Chicken Fajitas

1.5 lb Chicken breasts, sliced

1 package McCormick Fajita Seasoning

1 can Rotel

2 red peppers

1 small onion

Half a lime juice

Add chicken, seasoning, rotel, peppers and onion to the slow cooker and cook on low for 6 hours (or however long it takes your crock pot to cook it since they are all different depending on the size, etc). When it's done juice the lime over the top and mix in for a fresh flavor.

Fresh Pico de Gallo

1 medium roma tomato

1 small serrano

1 small onion

Half juice of a lime

Salt, Pepper, Garlic Powder

Roughly chop the tomato and onion. Squeeze lime over the top. Let sit for an hour for the juices to set.

(Linked at I Heart Naptime)

Occupy Wall Street

2011-10-26T16:25:00.000-05:00

If you've watched the news lately, you have surely seen something about Occupy Wall Street. This is a protest movement, people who consider themselves the 99% of the population, who are rallying against Wall Street, big banks, and massive multi-national corporations that they feel have created the down turn in the American financial situation.

The movement is leaderless and calls for revolution. The problem I (and many others) see with that is a lack of focus. It's unorganized chaos with too many different agendas. This could lead to dangerous territory, as people who relish the idea of leaderless revolution could look for ways to cause mass anarchy. While I do believe some changes need to be made, a public call to anarchy does not seem to be the solution.

The 99% ideal is based on the fact that the richest 1% are ruling the world, making the decisions, and we, the rest, are dealing with the consequences while they continue living a lifestyle we could only dream about. That this 1% have abused the financial system in America with no legal ramifications and no changes being made by the government to stop it from happening in the future.

This quote from wikipedia really stood out to me,

"On Oct. 10 and 11, the polling firm Penn, Schoen & Berland interviewed nearly 200 protesters.^[76]Half (52%) have participated in a political movement before, 98% would support civil disobedience to achieve their goals, and 31% would support violence to advance their agenda. Most are employed; 15% are unemployed. Most had supported Obama; now they are evenly divided."

We are told in elementary schools when we first learn of the constitution and in college when we pretend to study more indepthly that we have the right to assemble peacefully. Situations like Kent State and the Occupy Oakland protests suggest that maybe there is a little more to it than just showing up and marching where ever you choose. But to see that 98% would face the repercussions of civil disobedience is a little shocking to me.

Both sides of this issue, those who see it as chaos with little productivity and the side that is desperately trying to get some measure of change admit that Americans are frustrated. There aren't enough jobs, companies are rapidly moving out of the US sending jobs away, unemployment is at a 9% stand-still (which is scary after the near collapse of 2008), and yet there are still people and companies making massive profits off of the system.

The top 1% is now making more money than the lower 50%. That number is staggering and scary.

In a conversation I had with a friend when our credit rating was lowered, my friend said, 'It's not the fault of the bankers/banks, they will only do what the market can bear.' And my gut, instinct reaction to that was, the market can't bear it. We're at the snapping point. Financially, and now politically. People are responding.

I will be following this topic and writing about any major updates. It's incredibly interesting to me and I only hope that those who are truly about positive change, not the anarchists who are after destruction, in America succeed.

Happy Birthday to Me!

2011-10-25T18:07:00.000-05:00

It's the 25th, which means my birthday has come and gone.

It was a quiet affair this year. After last year, I just wanted something simple. You see, last year I wanted to lessen the blow of turning 25 by having a little party and I asked for a really pretty cake. That was it. Well, the people invited to the party blew off my birthday, which really, really hurt my feelings. And Chance sort of screwed up the cake. In the end, we spent my birthday alone at home watching tv which was really depressing.

This year an awesome friend planned a dinner for my special day with some of our friends. We had sangria margarita swirls (awesome) and she got her dinner free because it had a bug (disgusting). But we had fun, that was the most important part.

Chance got me some really great gifts, something different this year since we're actually not poor like we usually were in the past. :) Can I just say how much I love amazon gift wish lists? He got things directly off my list like the smart man he is.

Now it's back to the usual grind of massive amounts of homework, a hectic work life, and keeping track of a very busy three year old.

New Styles

2011-10-11T13:09:00.000-05:00

I bought my very first pair of skinny jeans yesterday. I've never worn them before, but I'm wanting to wear more boots this fall/winter and you kind of need skinny jeans to make them work.

I built this entire outfit from Maurice's website. I own the jeans and boots. I wish I owned the top and the necklace. lol The purse is just an extra.

Helping.

2011-10-04T19:36:00.004-05:00

I posted a few months ago that I hadn't really done anything nice for anyone lately. I wanted to remedy that. I hadn't found a way until today. My cousin's husband posted this link, and I loved the idea. I've seen it before, a blurb or something on TV, but I'd never seen the actual website.

Now I'm signed up and plan to lend $25 a month. My goal is to lend to women entrepreneurs unless there is someone who I see that I just really want to help out.

If you'd like to get started with Kiva, follow my link. It's a great way to help out.

http://kiva.org/invitedby/sally9640

Andes Mint Cookies

2011-10-03T21:54:00.002-05:00

A friend had these cookies at her daughter's party this weekend. I thought they were chocolate chip with nuts or something, grabbed one and sat down to eat it. It had Andes Mints. Are you serious?! They were awesome. I asked her for the recipe, but when I went to buy the Andes Mint chips at the store I found a recipe on the back so I didn't hesitate to come home and make them.

The recipe was easy, I've never made cookies from scratch so I was worried, but it was simple. After I mixed the dough, it was a little dry and crumbly. I think it was because my eggs were small, so I would suggest using large eggs. Mine were medium farm fresh brown, so there just wasn't enough moisture. I mixed up another egg and rubbed it into the dough after letting it cool.

The cookies grew really tall, so make sure after you make them into a ball that you flatten them out.

Yum!

Ingredients

1/2 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup dark brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 large eggs
1 (10 ounce) packages Andes mint baking chips
2 2/3 cups all-purpose flour sifted

Directions

Preheat oven to 350°F.
Blend butter, brown sugar, white granulated sugar, baking soda, baking powder, vanilla and eggs until ingredients are mixed.
Add Andes Baking Chips and mix.
Add Flour and continue to mix until all ingredients are well blended together.
Cover and chill in the refrigerator for 45-60 minutes.
Spoon out approximately 1 oz of dough per cookie.
Form a ball and then slightly flatten.
Place on non-stick baking pans and bake for approximately 8-10 minutes.
Cool on pans for 2 minutes, then remove.

Shared at: http://www.jamhands.net/2011/10/recipe-sharing-monday-10-features.html

Happy 3rd Birthday to My Baby

2011-09-30T20:06:00.002-05:00

My birthday party invitation post gets about 20 hits a day.

When I was looking at my stats the other day I realized that I never actually posted pictures of the birthday party!

So, here's the Toy Story Cake. It was made by one of my oldest friends.

Toy Story Cake

Thanks Amanda!

We played a really fun game of Pin the Tail on Bullseye.

Pin the tail on Bullseye

Archer blew out his candles...

Blowing out the candles.

And then he opened presents.

Woody! Thanks Aunt Welo

But mostly, the kids just played at the park and enjoyed themselves. It was a great party. Thanks to everyone who came and celebrated with us.

All of his loot.

Is that bad? The things we do (or not) for Our Children

2011-09-27T16:30:00.000-05:00

In my previous post about the Brown family, a commenter noted that they had really negatively affected the children by moving to Nevada. (Something that was necessary as they were being investigated in their home state of Utah for polygamy.) My first thought was, do we not all do things that negatively affect our children? Doesn't everything we do either have a positive or a negative outcome, but sometimes you just have to do it anyway?

Well, they don't have to live that lifestyle you could say. True enough. But many of us, by the end of the day skimp out on things that would be more beneficial for our children because we just can't do any more than we're currently doing. There are times when I say, "No book tonight. I'm wiped out." My little guy looks at me with these heartbroken eyes and pouts off to bed. Maybe he needed me to read that book. Maybe he was on a developmental jumping point and I didn't follow through. That's a risk I'm willing to take, because as humans we are selfish creatures.

I'll even admit to something really bad. My child is currently going to a home daycare with no educational aspects involved simply because it's cheaper (by a long shot) than a school based daycare and because of the other people involved. That's horrible. I know. But when we started I wanted him in a daycare where he would be nurtured and loved, like I would have done had I been able to stay home longer. Now, I'm to a point where I don't want to pay more money to send him to the other daycare, I don't want for our babysitter to have less income because of me, I don't want to take him away from his friends; it's just too complicated at this point. I try and tell myself he will go to school (if he's like me) for the rest of his life, this is his break. I really don't believe that. But because I'm selfish about my money and I care for our babysitter and he has these great relationships with kids his age that I'm choosing to do something that may have an adverse affect on my kid years down the road. We all make decisions that may be the wrong ones, that may be bad, but (I'm going to guess) everyday we do these things that may not be the right thing, and I am choosing not to judge anyone else, because I definitely don't want them judging me.

Really though, my point is no matter the bad decisions we make that affect our lives, or the lives of our children, we are all doing the best we can. Even people who aren't very good parents, who make horrible decisions, who are so selfish that they are truly hurting their children with each mistake they make are doing the best they can. Does that mean maybe we need to learn how to cope a little better? Yes. Should we, as parents, stop being so egocentric and consider our children when we make decisions? Yes. But that doesn't mean that every decision be based on what's best for our children. Sometimes we do have to make decisions that are best for us and try our hardest to make sure that our children come out with something good.

(To the commenter mentioned in the first paragraph, I truly appreciated your comment, it as it gave me an entirely new perspective that I hadn't considered. Please don't think this a response to your direct comment, but a general idea that was sparked after reading your words. Something I always enjoy. The best part about blogging is knowing that our own ideas aren't always perfect and other people always see things in different ways. New perspectives are always learning experiences.)

The Illusion of...

2011-09-26T22:37:00.000-05:00

Twice (that I can remember anyway) I have posted about control; the fact that I personally do not desire or need control because I just don't care.

I'm posting about it again because it's everywhere on my mind lately. I was reading a book with a quote about control and I've seen multiple quotes or scripture bits in my newsfeed on Facebook. It's not just on my mind, it's on the minds of others around me.

I learned a long time ago that we only ever have an illusion of control. You DO NOT ever actually have control of a situation, no matter how upset or stressed you get, you do not have control of anything but yourself. And a lot of times, people who like to think they are in control and so out of control on the inside that they are desperately grasping for control every where else.

That desperation is the cause of the need for control. Actually, fear is the cause of the need for control. You try to control everything because you're desperately afraid of something. That desperation shows. It puts people off. Instead of making people want to bend to your will, it only makes people want to run screaming in the other direction.

Consider the last time you persuaded someone to your side of an idea. Did you do it with confidence and charisma or did you do it with desperate fear? I'm assuming not the latter. Desperation does nothing but irritate me, unless it's truly warranted.

I understand that some people think they need to be in control, but let me just tell you, they're wasting their time. It's not real control. It only causes stress to them and the people around them.

If you're religious, I'll leave you with this.

If you're not, well, sorry. Maybe next time?

Sister Wives: Opinion, Hold the Judgement

2011-09-25T14:27:00.000-05:00

The TLC reality show Sister Wives is new again tonight. I've watched this show from the beginning. At first, it was a curiosity, the same curiosity that made me watch Jon and Kate; but as I watched I was drawn into the insanity of their lifestyle. The drama and something that just is not an acceptable lifestyle.

I strive to not be a judgmental person. So it wasn't until my mom mentioned one day that I was being so, that I realized what I was doing. We were discussing the show and I was just going off about their lifestyle. How strange they were, the choices they were making, etc etc. My mom basically said they kids aren't being harmed, there is food, shelter, love, more than basic necessities. The kids are well taken care of; they have so many siblings to play with and love who take care of each other. While they live a lifestyle I don't, and don't necessarily agree with, it's not my place to judge. Even if they have put their lifestyle on television, it's not my place to feel ugly things toward them and think they are bad or wrong.

So after much thought, here are my raw feelings on the show/family/lifestyle.

First, my concern is why would you put yourself at risk for felony charges, jail time, loosing jobs etc by going on television? I understand wanting to have your story put out there, teaching others, hoping to gain something for your family and future generations. I know about fighting for what you believe in, but I'm sure that there could have been a better way to start it than by going on television.

Second, my personal issue. It feels to me (my feminist self) that this situation, these unions, suggest that one woman is not equal to one man. One man needs four wives to be fulfilled. I don't like the implications of that. I don't know any of the religious or faith based ideas that polygamy comes from, so that could be something that I've developed on my own. But it is something I feel and something I am not comfortable with. However, I can accept that many wives live a lifestyle differently from me. I don't accept that I should be obedient to what my husband says. I will be obedient in my marriage and follow the vows that we made. IF he made faith based decisions, I would follow them. But he doesn't, so that's a non issue. So basically, I have made a conscious decision that we all live the way that works for us, and there's nothing I can do with it except live my life the way I want.

Finally, the Browns are currently filing a federal suit against the state of Utah to have the law that bars polygamy overturned. There have been other law suits (one in the state of Texas) in which the Supreme Court stated gay sex was out of the jurisdiction of the law. This law being overturned would positively affect people like the Browns who appear to be living the way they should be. They are just a big happy family. However, and I know there are always exceptions, there are families in which children are just the result of marriages. They aren't valued for anything except the future marriage to someone, most likely an older family member and probably before they are legally of age. If the overturning of this law legally allows families like the latter to continue, I don't think that's a positive thing. I'm not sure how that can be regulated, probably can't, but I don't want to see something that could be positive for those who would use it appropriately be abused by those others who are doing it illegally and treating their families/children negatively now.

Overall, this show is one that I watch because I'm nosy and curious. I am most definitely not being judgmental about this family any more and I'm not ready to stop watching because I'm appalled at what they're doing.

So, there is my opinion on Sister Wives. The show and partially the lifestyle. What's yours?

Semi follow up post here.

Heavenly Harvest Pork Roast

2011-09-18T18:24:00.001-05:00

A friend posted this recipe a while back and I was holding out for Fall to make it. I'm not usually one to include fruit with savory food, it's not my favorite sort of taste, but this worked out great. It was just savory enough that the fruit just added a great flavor.

Here's the recipe, that I did not find or create. Just had it suggested to me by a friend.

Heavenly Harvest Pork Roast

1/4 cup pomegranate juice
1/4 cup sugar
1 tablespoon salt
1 tablespoon garlic salt
1 tablespoon steak seasoning
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 pork roast, any type (4-5 lbs)
2 pears, cored, peeled, and sliced thick
1/2 orange with peel, sliced thick

1. Combine pomegranate juice and sugar in small saucepan. Cook over low heat, stirring until sugar dissolves, about 2 minutes. Pour into slow cooker.

2. Blend salt, garlic salt, steak seasoning and pepper in small mixing bowl. Rub mixture over roast. Place roast in slow cooker. Turn roast to cover with juice mixture.

3. Top roast with pear and orange slices. Cover; cook on HIGH 6-8 hours or until tender. Serve with juice and fruit slices.

I did make a few modifications. First, I used a pomegranate juice with no sugar added. You could do either, I just try to save calories and sugar intake if possible. I used less sugar, only because I didn't have any more than about an 1/8th of a cup. I also used less salt and garlic powder instead of garlic salt. I try to reduce sodium any way I can. I also used a spicy steak seasoning, just because I think the spicier the better. One last change, I didn't peel the pears. That's where all the nutrition is and I just didn't want to do all the extra work of peeling.

When I went to the store to get the supplies for this recipe I found a bag of fruit that was marked down. It had pears, apples, and oranges for only 99 cents. They were badly bruised and I wouldn't have eaten them, so this was a perfect use for them.

I really liked this recipe and thought I would share it here. Must try for fall.

Sharing at Jam Hands!

And A Bowl Full of Lemons

9/11 and Anxiety

2011-09-11T12:10:00.001-05:00

I've talked a little about anxiety before, but I'm going to go there again today.

As a kid, I knew that people were "anxious" about things, but I never knew it was something you could have long term. Those people were just worriers.

When I first started my counseling classes and started noticing some of the symptoms of GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) in my husband, I started learning that anxiety was a real thing that affected people on a larger scale than just worrying.

I thought for a long time that it would make sense for him to have anxiety. There are some other people in his family with diagnoses of mental disorders (bi-polar) so it wouldn't be out of the question for him to be dealing with anxiety. I studied it more in depth and as time passed I realized that he was just under a tremendous amount of stress.

After that time, as I've posted before, I realized that I had some anxieties. These are of the natural sort, thunderstorms, height, darkness, etc. I've never experienced a real earthquake, but I'm sure if I ever did it would also bring on a full blown panic attack.

This isn't anything I can control, and only relaxation techniques can really help with it. I know that nothing would likely happen, but I can't help the fear that something might.

I've had those fears my entire life. I can't remember not running for the front door without looking back for fear of what might be behind me. I used to make my grandparents take me to the cellar if there was a severe thunderstorm a county away because I felt safe there.

Ten years ago, I gained a new fear. Ten years ago, on September 11 2001, I had a fear for my safety and security in my own country. That was something I had never even considered before. I had always felt safe in my country. My family was patriotic, lots of military history. I'd never had a reason to not feel safe. Since that day I have felt constant worry about another attack, or something worse. It's not fore front in my mind, or something that I can't deal with. Sometimes I have to turn on CNN at night to make sure that something isn't happening. It's just there, in the back of my mind.

Last night, my anxiety was already a little higher than normal. All of the posts on Facebook just had me a little on edge. A little after midnight, I hear this sound like a gun shot. I get up to look only to hear several more pops and see bright flashes. I run to Archer's room. He's fine, it's still just flashes and sounds, and look out his window just as it's stopping.

I have no idea what it was, I'm assuming black cats or something. Whatever it was, had me shaking and my blood pressure was through the roof for hours. I, again, went to bed with CNN in, just in case something happened again this morning.

Anxiety is a funny thing. You just can't control how you feel you just have to deal with it. It's not always a real fear, but it's most definitely a real feeling.

I challenge you, if you aren't knowledgeable about anxiety, become so. Learn about something that is truly affecting many people around you, and possibly even you. I had anxiety my entire life, and didn't realize it until I learned the true meaning of the word, in a diagnostic sense.

Recipe Link Party!

2011-09-08T11:03:00.001-05:00

I'm currently participating in two cooking link parties. If you have a favorite recipe and are looking to increase your blog traffic, you should try linking up too. I have found lots of new recipes and gotten some new followers. Try it out!

Jam Hands

The Lady Behind the Curtain

Chicken and Broccoli Cheese Casserole

2011-09-02T21:04:00.001-05:00

If you follow me on pinterest (hint, sidebar, hint) chances are you've seen this chicken, broccoli and cheese casserole.

I really wanted to try it and I was kid free for the night, so I thought, why not.

The original recipe called for cooked chicken, so I just grabbed a rotisserie chicken at WalMart and cubed it.

I also bought a package of steamable broccoli instead of fresh. It was just easier. :) Then...I remembered that our microwave is broken, so I still had to steam it on the stove top.

The sauce was super easy. Just half a package of cheese, some milk and chicken broth and some butter with a corn starch emulsion. It was really tasty and the most difficult part of the entire recipe, which isn't saying much.

Then, you top with the rest of the cheese and crushed Ritz crackers. Yum.

Recipe (adapted from www.justgetoffyourbuttsandbake.com)

Ingredients:

1 lb. bag frozen broccoli, steam half package directiontime

3 cups cooked chicken breasts, cut or cube (I used arotisserie chicken) 

3 cups grated cheddar cheese, divided 

2 tubes Ritz Crackers 

1 stick meltedbutter 

1/4 C. Cornstarch

1/3 C. Chicken Broth

2 Cups Milk

Salt, Pepper, Season to taste

Directions:

In greased 13×9 pan, layer the broccoli and chicken, thenset aside.

In saucepan over medium heat, combine the melted butter,cornstarch dissolved in COLD water, chicken broth, seasonings, and milk. Stirwell, and continue stirring until sauce has thickened. Turn heat down to low,and add 1- 1/2 cups grated cheddar cheese. Stir until melted. Pour overthe chicken and broccoli. Top with 1- 1/2 cups grated cheddar cheese.

Melt remaining butter. Crush Ritz crackers in largezip-lock bag with a rolling pin. Don’t crush too small. Add crumbs to themelted butter. Sprinkle crumbs over the top of the grated cheese.

Bake uncovered at 350 degrees for about 30 minutes, oruntil hot & bubbly.

**Edited to add: Velveeta would be really good with this recipe if you don't like cheddar. My 3 year old wasn't so much a fan of this, and I think the velveeta would have brought him around.**

Parenting Advice

2011-08-15T14:57:00.001-05:00

A friend recently wrote a blog post about parenting advice inspired by a news article she found online. My first thought when reading her blog was, that's something I could write about. I put it on the back burner, but today I came across a post I wrote several months ago that sort of tied in. So instead of writing a list of advice on how to parent your child, I'm offering suggestions on being a parent, mostly geared at new parents.

So, here's me, attempting advice.

First, before your baby comes, when you're imagining what life will be like with your brand new baby, know that you must have flexible expectations for yourself and baby. It does not matter what you want to do, plan to do, think you must do, if that doesn't work for your family or, most importantly, baby, it won't work at all. Having expectations for yourself and baby can sometimes result only in heartache. Not always, but sometimes.

Next It's important to know that it's okay to need help. If you've never needed help as a parent, by all means, tell me your secret, because everyone (especially brand new parents) need help. What kind of help? Anything. I was so set on being able to do everything myself that I didn't need anyone. I don't need to take a nap, I'm enjoying my baby and I can handle it. It doesn't matter if I haven't really slept for days, because all moms do this; if they can do it, I can do it. I was really stubborn and really set on proving to everyone I knew that I didn't need any help that I made life a lot harder than it needed to be, on myself and my family who was dying to just be helpful. It is okay to need help, and it is okay to ask for it. I promise. No one will think any less of you. And if they do, they shouldn't be part of your life anyway.

Enjoy your time with your baby, but don't forget that you have other roles in your life also. Chance's are, unless your a nanny and not a parent, that you aren't only responsible for holding a baby all day long. I know it's wonderful and amazing, but in addition to being moms (and dads) we are spouses first, or significant others, whatever. It is so easy to fall into dream world of baby and how awesome it is to finally get to spend time with your baby that we really do forget that we do have other loved ones in our life.

This can be really stressful for marriages, especially for dads, who unless they are stay at home dads really don't get as much bonding time in and don't always understand why we moms don't talk to them anymore or acknowledge their presence. I had a really difficult adjustment period realizing that my husband did need me to spend time with him as a wife and not a new mom. It's a hard mindset to even realize you are in, and then even harder to get out of it. I wanted to spend all this time with my new baby, because I knew he wouldn't be a baby for long. BUT, you won't miss much if you go out for dinner alone with the spouse or if you skip taking a nap with baby to actually talk about non-baby things for more than five minutes.

The best advice I can give here, is just to be flexible and realize that the dynamics of your relationship have changed, on both sides. You have to balance being a mom and wife, and Dad's have to realize that you are learning a whole new role, while on minimal sleep and a tide of emotions.

Might be more of a side note, and this may not happen to everyone, but my complete lack of sleep for several months has resulted in loss of memory for months of my child's early life. So, take pictures, start a blog, keep a notebook, something that keeps your memories intact so that you can look back on them and tell stories about them. (These memories are especially useful for the terrible 2's and 3's, because they help you remember how wonderful it was to hold a tiny sweet baby, when said baby is screaming their head off over who-knows-what and you're starting to wonder what you were thinking becoming a parent in the first place.)

The last one is a big one, and it's pretty hard to do at times. Every been there, done that mom has advice. She knows how it worked at her house, and why. But she doesn't know how it works at your house, so when she offers her unsolicited advice kindly smile and thank her for her words. ~~and avoid punching her in the face.~~ You can even try her advice if you want, but know that what works for your sister/mom/aunt/mother-in-law whoever, won't always work for you and your baby. No matter how many times she tells you what to do, or sometimes what you're doing wrong and how to fix it, know that she means well, but she isn't always right. It gets frustrating sometimes having to hear everyone give you unsolicited advice, but it never ends so just get used to it. :)

Being a parent is truly one of the most rewarding, stressful, wonderful, tiresome, scary, beautiful adventures you will ever go on; and it lasts forever. It never gets any easier, but the good news is, you will have a reason to smile for the rest of your life.

So, be flexible, don't take anything too seriously, and enjoy the ride.

My sweet boy and I our first day home from the hospital.

I'm a Grown-Up

2011-08-13T01:28:00.003-05:00

I've gone back and forth on doing this for a long time, but I have made a commitment to this blog and I plan to see it through.

You may or may not have noticed that when you followed the link in your feed it redirected you to...www.ablessedexistence.com. I bought my own domain! Yay.

This feels like such an adult thing to do. I own a little piece of cyberspace. Well, not really, but I own the name of this page. :)

I've also set up an email address and added a button in the sidebar, just in case you ever feel the need to send me an email, it's there.

Lastly, if you've linked to me via button, I have updated the address there so you might want to update it on your blog as well as in your feed/reader.

Some Harry Potter for Your Day

2011-08-12T12:59:00.002-05:00

My dream

2011-08-12T01:21:00.004-05:00

Early this summer I went to my cousin's high school graduation. During the ceremony, one of his classmates sang and played his guitar. It was really great and my mom and I were very impressed with his vocal skills. After that I downloaded his songs on iTunes, I mean, they were just a dollar. Those few dollars meant nothing to me and helped an aspiring artist pursue his dream.

Today I saw his facebook page in my newsfeed and thought I would check out his website and see if there were any updates. I read his bio for the first time and there was a touching note to his Papa, the person who pushed him musically. The person who inspired his dream.

So my cheesy mind thought, that would be a good blog topic, "What's your dream?"

Then I realized I didn't have the answer to my own question. I know it's natural to have some identity issues at my age, but that kind of hit me hard. Do I even have a dream? I dream of...being a good parent, original right?

You want to know my very first thought? I'm sad to admit it because I know it will never come true. My very first thought was, My dream is to live in NYC. I've always dreamed of living there.

So, I'm not really sure if that counts or not, especially since I know it's not even possible, but there it is.

My dream is to live in New York City.

After realizing this was my dream, I've decided I want to create a dream list, sort of like LMM's Life List so be looking for it in the near future.

Cleaning

2011-08-10T13:55:00.001-05:00

My blog topic prompt today is, What in your house needs cleaned the most?

I nearly snorted when I read that prompt. What doesn't need cleaned in this house? It seems that everyday, no matter what proactive things I do all day long to avoid large messes, they still happen.

Yesterday I did a load of whites, a load of towels, a load of blankets (because my child peed the bed twice in one night), a load of darks, and two loads of colors. I actually hadn't really done a mass laundry run since early July. Which I know is really sad. I would just wash a few things here and there and leave the rest piled in the laundry room. Now they are all washed, folded, and waiting for me to organize my and Chance's dresser to put them all away. Work starts back up next week and I need to have everything ready to go without worrying about doing laundry.

I run the dishwasher daily. You wouldn't think that cooking 3-4 times a week would create as many dishes to be done as it seems to, but apparently you'd be wrong. I think the main culprit is the previous house we were in before this one had this really awesome closet in the laundry room that I stored our extra dishes and other kitchen stuff. Well, when we moved, Chance forgot to get everything out of it, and left us with like 6 large plates, 2 medium plates, and 3 small plates and a very limited selection of utensils and silverware. When Chance's grandparents passed away we were given some of their silver wear which has helped, but when yo only have 9 plates total, and three people, well, that means you wash dishes all the time.

My house isn't dirty, it's definitely messy. There are lots of things that are out of place, or don't have a place at all to begin with. I guess that's what I would really like to do most. I would like to organize the entire house, find more places for things that don't belong stacked on top of the fridge or any other cabinet in the house. I would like to build on and have more storage. More places to put things that need a home.

Oh yeah, and I also need to clean my room.

Blog Topics?

2011-08-09T21:03:00.000-05:00

Lately I've been relying more on a predefined topic as inspiration instead of my daily life. I think there's a really thin line between a creative writing project and a blog topic.

Sometimes I just need a boost, an idea. Something to get the creative spark going, so this is really helpful to me. BUT, I do think that it's important to use the topic to tell your own story, and not create one.

While going through a topic list, I kept coming back to one: "Describe the nicest thing you've ever done for someone."

I don't know about you, but praising myself is not my strong suit. I'm great a being sarcastic and pretending to brag, and I know what I'm good at, but that's not the same as narrating something that I've done and why it's the nicest thing I've ever done.

I don't think I'm a horrible person, but I know that I don't just go around doing nice things for people. I actually can't tell you something at all nice that I've done for anyone.

And that makes me really sad, to think that I can't even think of anything. My goal, before Christmas, is to complete an activity that will be able to finish this blog topic question.

Keeping Busy

2011-08-09T01:15:00.002-05:00

It's amazing how much more quickly a day will go by when you are doing things than when you aren't, isn't it? Every day I look forward to five o'clock, and it seems to just drag by. Today, however, was much better. Well, time wise anyway.Archer and I enjoyed our last summer day sleeping in until 10:45. He snuggled in my bed with me for a little while before deciding he was starving. I made him some eggs for breakfast and then ordered this really awesome planner for myself after finding it on a blog I follow. (PS, I have a coupon for the planner, and will post pictures of mine when it comes in!!) (Wow, just realized how lame it sounds to be this excited about a planner.)

While I was doing that, there was a knock at the door, the plumber. He spent about an hour working on the lines, charged me $100 and said all of the lines to the city's main line need replaced. He got the BALL that Archer flushed down the toilet out, apparently the SOCK and underwear he flushed went into the lines. I capitalized ball and sock, because if you remember from a previous post I said the boy flushed his panties, but yesterday as I was telling my grandpa why I needed a plumber he confessed to also flushing a ball and his daddy's sock. Grr.

Anyway, he said that it's back to flushing for the time being, but that we really need to replace the lines, a task he would only charge me $5,000 to do. I almost crapped my pants. I thought he was joking, I almost laughed out loud. Chance said we would just rent a trencher and do it ourselves. I almost would rather pay the $5,000 than do anything that involves sewer lines....

While they were working I threw a pork loin on the stove, it's the Pioneer Woman's Dr. Pepper Pork recipe, and let me just say, YUM. If you haven't tried it, you must. It's very spicy but oh so good. That took a significant amount of time, as I like to go to the kitchen periodically to smell and baste the meat. And snack on the top and edges once they get done. It's a tough job.After the meat was done Archer and I headed out to my mom's for dinner. I made the roast, so she made the rest; as well as some chile rellenos. It was fantastic food, but I'm feeling it in my esophagus tonight.Archer gobbled up some spaghetti o's while we ate spicy food and then put away an ice cream cone and a bowl of ice cream. The sugar festival was on after that.

He was being wild. I took him out in the garden for some pictures. Getting a smile was like pulling teeth for a while. Actually, getting him to smile and look at the camera was a task. He would look at the camera with this horrible straight or sad face, and then look away and smile. He was wearing me out. We wandered out into the pasture to take some more, where I did get a few smiles; but once we got in the pool he was back to not smiling again.

Even though I thought he was going to wear my patience thin, it really did push the day along quite nicely. We got home at 8, chatted with Chance and then Archer went straight to bed. He never crashes that early, but tomorrow is his first day back at day care. I can't wait! :)

Here are a few of the pictures from this afternoon, all I wanted was a smile.

Twenty shots later, he finally gave me a real smile and made eye contact with the camera. Love my boy.

Free Toy Story Party Invite Template

2011-08-08T23:05:00.002-05:00

Last month I posted about creating my son's birthday party invites. Well, today I had to change the time and add some stuff which required me to wipe the entire text out, leaving me with a blank etch-a-sketch.

SO...I thought it would be nice if I shared the blank image with everyone so that the could make their own from the template.

Here you go, a free Toy Story party invitation template! All you need to do is add text, which can be done in paint, picasa or your favorite editing software. Enjoy!

Today I had my invitations printed online at walmart. This template can be saved as a .jpeg image and is printable.

(Linked at I Heart Naptime)

Recipe Link Party Details

2011-08-08T11:38:00.001-05:00

Today is recipe sharing Monday over at Jam Hands (one of my new favorite blogs). If you have a recipe you are dying to share and you want to increase your blog traffic a little head on over to Jam Hands and link up!

Recipe: Stuffed Peppers

2011-08-07T17:39:00.001-05:00

I got the idea for this recipe from my friend's healthy cooking cook book, I'm not sure of the actual title, sorry; but I didn't really stick to the recipe. If you're looking for a healthy version of stuffed peppers, this is probably not it.

Ingredients:
4 Bell peppers (I get the multi pack, color wise. Yellow is my favorite)
1 lb Lean ground beef
1 can Rotel OR
1 small can green chile sauce
1 small can tomato sauce
1 package Uncle Ben's Santa Fe rice (90 second microwave kind)

Start water boiling in a pot large enough to hold your peppers. Season and brown ground beef. While your beef is cooking you will need to microwave rice according to package directions and seed/core your peppers. I prefer mine cut in half with only the stem removed from the top, but for presentation slicing off just the top and coring is better. Once the water is boiling add your peppers, cook 3 minutes or until tender. Return beef to skillet, add rice and rotel. Keep heat on low to help mix the flavors. When the peppers are soft, plate and stuff.

This is a super easy recipe with tons of variety. You could add cheese and onions if you like them. You can also roast the peppers in the oven (it's just too hot for that) or my favorite way to make them is in the microwave. When I'm working I'll bring 4 cleaned raw peppers and microwave each one for 7 minutes in a bowl with a lid, but vented. Then I warm up enough stuffing for each one and stuff them. It's a super quick and easy lunch, and not really left overs.

Sharing at A Bowl Full of Lemons

Where I am...

2011-08-07T12:35:00.001-05:00

Just in case you are wondering.

First, I have some stuff going on that I'm not really comfortable with sharing on a public platform. Nothing at all major, just trying for a sense of security.

Second, I'm dealing with some things around my house that are really just wearing my nerves thin. Last Saturday as we were packing for the lake, my child comes in to the living room to say he flushed his panties (yeah, he calls them panties, so what?) down the toilet. I didn't believe him. He says silly things likes this all the time. My husband runs in and immediately starts plunging. (I personally think this was the wrong move. I think he should have taken the toilet off to check if they were right there and could have been snatched up. But whatever.)

We got the toilets to flush on Saturday, everyone had a shower after the lake, Sunday everything was fine. Sunday evening rolls around and mortifyingly enough, after I go to the bathroom it won't flush. Not even a little. So I have to plunge for what feels like hours. I go and get the kid to show him what he's done. After plunging, for what seemed like hours, I yelled at Chance that we needed to call a plumber. He decides he'll get a snake at the hardware store first thing the next morning. Monday morning rolls around, and guess what, it's the parade day. Oh, and I have to take my car in to get it repaired after the wreck. So we battle our way downtown after the parade, pull into the body shop (which my sister owns) and park it on the back side half a block away because there are still people parked every where and loitering. Leave my car there. Get in Chance's (old, crappy, needs repaired) 4Runner and head to the hardware store. He then tells me we are almost out of gas and sometimes when it's hot his truck doesn't start well. It's noon and over 100 degrees, so the prognosis isn't well.

Luckily we made it home, only to find out that the snake we got doesn't fit the hole in the floor where the toilet once was. He has to go back, with no gas and the heat and hopes he makes it. (Again, here I thought that getting gas would have made more sense, but he said that the gas station was too far away so he couldn't make it? Not sure the thought process there...) Around this time the rental car places calls so my sister drives me the next town over to get the rental. When I get home Chance tells me that the snake didn't work, we'll have to wait and see and probably get a plumber.

Fast forward a few days, it's still hot outside, we're over 40 days straight above 100 degrees in case you're wondering what I mean by hot. I throw some clothes in to wash and forget to dry them. I wash them again, hot water extra rinse (I'm an idiot, I know). Then I do another few loads of laundry. I hear a gurgling, which is normal, except I go in the bathroom and there is sewage in the bath tub. I'm ready to blow a gasket at this point. I clean the tub with bleach and put the drain stopper in.

We're now at 48 hours since the toilet has actually flushed willingly, otherwise I've had to plunge every time. Which is the nastiest job I can manage. It's the weekend, but I assure you, I'm calling a plumber tomorrow.

Thirdly, my brand new dryer, well, less than a year old dryer, is on the fritz. There is some kind of short somewhere that causes it to turn off about 15 minutes in. You know, just long enough to forget that you started it and don't notice that it's not running. The past two loads of laundry I've done have required me to sit in the laundry room or at my desk nearby and run in and beat on the front panel to get it to run again. I also need to call a Sears repairman, but I can't seem to remember to do that except for when I'm doing laundry which is late at night because it's a million degrees during the day time.

All these things combined is really just about to push me over the proverbial edge, so let's just say I am pleased to announce that the boy goes to daycare next week. Yay!

I don't start back to work until the 16th, but I really need him out of my hair for a few days to chill and he really needs some entertainment. We're ready.

So, that's an almost complete summary of what is going on with me. I left out lots of disgusting plunging details, and the first paragraph's actual point, but you get the idea. It's really hard to come up with stuff to blog about when all you can think about is when you're going to be able to flush the toilet again.

Anxiety

2011-08-05T16:23:00.001-05:00

A few semesters back I took an advanced abnormal psychology class, which was basically a diagnostic class for mental disorders. As we were studying phobias, I found mine. I have a Specific Phobia of the natural environment. This would apply to heights, thunderstorms, darkness, and aging.

Three out of four, I'd say yes.

Last summer when we went to Estes Park, we took a tram up a mountain. There was a walk way at the top and you could also walk around on the mountain. I've always had issues with being in high places and being afraid of what could happen, but it was ten-fold worse there. I was scared the entire tram ride, and really only went because my entire family was going. Once we got to the top I was freaking out at being so high, being on a metal walkway atop a mountain, etc etc. Archer wanted to run and play which made my heart stop, and eventually I had to just sit down and breathe because I was literally having an anxiety attack at being that high. I didn't know that's what it was at the time, but looking back now I know that's what it was.

As long as I can remember, I've been deathly afraid of severe thunderstorms and tornadoes. In the spring time, I watch the news incessantly and watch all kinds of weather to find out what's happening all week. This past spring I began following several news and weather pages on facebook. Each of our local news stations post weather updates, and a friend's brother is a storm chaser and I also followed his page. On days that weather alerts were issued I was glued to my phone. I kept it on me, and checking facebook every chance I could. It was completely unhealthy, but it felt so necessary.

There were several days that they posted extremely dangerous situations for the days weather and those days were awful. I could hardly focus, I didn't eat. One of those days they basically placed a bulls eye on us for tornadoes. I came home from work, got Archer, and made a bag of clothes for both us to go to my sister's basement. I was so worked up that I could hardly make it into my car or buckle Archer's seatbelt. I would also say that was an anxiety attack, but not so bad that it really kept me from doing anything. More like, I had to get somewhere that I felt safe and I wasn't letting anything stop me.

The next one on the list, darkness. Dark doesn't really affect me as much as the other two, but I don't enjoy being anywhere without a light. I absolutely hate walking through my back yard in the dark. I'm more afraid of what could be in the dark. It got even worse a few weeks ago when I was watching Criminal Minds and this guy was utilizing the blackouts in California to rape and murder women. One woman was even attacked because she went ahead and opened her door then when back to get her baby out of the car. That really bothered me and I had to turn it off there. After that I didn't even like walking past the windows in my house after dark. I was really afraid something might be looking in. I'm sure that sounds crazy, but I even had to buy a heavy curtain for the back door.

I'm not at all afraid of aging or dying, though I don't think on the process with joy, I know it's out of my hands. Everyone ages.

Anxiety was something that I thought other people dealt with, and never realized I dealt with it some myself until after I studied it more. I know that if you really looked into most of the disorders in the DSM you could find yourself on lots of pages, but this was something that I truly acknowledged in myself. Right now just awareness and focusing on relaxing are the only thing I need, and I hope to always be able to manage it in that way.

Moping

2011-08-03T22:25:00.001-05:00

I've been feeling sorry for myself for two days. Yesterday I blew past 1500 calories and had pizza, chips, chocolate, and more soda necessary. I didn't have a single vegetable. Today I had pizza for lunch and fruit for dinner, but nothing else.

Tomorrow I have plans to eat real food and drink lots of water.

Right now I'm coloring my hair and watching awful chick flicks.

I feel slightly better.

Monthly Menu

2011-08-02T18:57:00.003-05:00

A blog I follow posted their menu for the entire month of August today. I must say, I'm impressed and very envious. I literally cannot even plan tomorrow's meals. Something always comes up or changes. I literally don't even try anymore.

Evolution of Blogging

2011-08-02T14:53:00.002-05:00

I've been blogging for years, I started out blogging on myspace in 2006, moved to blog spot in 2008 with my pregnancy blog, and in 2009 I started posting on this blog. Most of the time it's just mindless chatter, but after seeing the rest of the blog world evolve I'm wondering if I should too?

I have shifted from all random postings to actually having ideas and themes in my posting. I see what other people are posting about and use that for inspiration. I have seen other bloggers like Little Miss Momma say what they do when they are having writers block, and I enjoy seeing those posts. Anything to get something creative flowing.

I'm just not creative enough to get something going on my own, so for now I'll browse through the headlines and facebook and see if there is anything relevant going on to blog about.

What do you do to cure your writers block or deal with a lack of creativity?

Inspire Me Baby Giveaway!

2011-08-02T14:15:00.001-05:00

Inspire Me Baby is doing an awesome giveaway with Chubby Cheeks!! Go check it out!

Is that not the cutest thing EVER?

Auto Review:Dodge Caliber

2011-08-01T20:51:00.001-05:00

Did I tell you we were rear ended a few weeks ago? Well we were. It really wasn't a bad wreck, Archer was with my parents and Chance and I were fine.

The body shop was ready for my car today so I dropped it off and my sister took me over to pick up a rental. At first I was really afraid that it would be this old grandma car they had in the lot, but.....it was a Dodge Caliber.

It was a really pretty ruby red color, cloth interior. Here were the things I really liked about the Dodge Caliber:
-Tons of storage
-I'm talking cubbies all over. There was a perfect spot for my wallet, a cubby for my phone, and the soda holder in the glove compartment.
-Electrical Outlet
-It has an actual electrical outlet inside.
-Auxiliary plug for my iPhone
-Pretty decent sound system
-Decent gas mileage

Here are some of the things I did not like about the Dodge Caliber:
-No power
-I was smashing the gas pedal and was barely going.
-No variable shifting (the fancier model might have this)
-My Jetta has 6 gears, sport shift and automatic sport shift and I love it.
-Lots of road noise
-You can hear every car next to you, every bump in the road, etc. Not a quiet ride.
-Lots of blind spots
-I am used to having to use the mirror for backing up, but the Caliber had lots of blind spots even during driving.
-Difficult cruise control
-There were more steps than mine to set the cruise and it didn't set on the speed I was actually going.
-Not a lot of storage
-My car trunk has more storage and doesn't have a designated cargo area like the Caliber does.

For anyone looking to buy a Dodge Caliber I will say that it is a decent car, but I wouldn't buy one after driving my Jetta.

Perseverance

2011-08-01T15:35:00.003-05:00

I came across this really cool photographer the other day. I don't remember now how, but she takes awesome pictures so I follow her blog and facebook. She used her facebook to ask this question today, and I thought it was really intriguing.

"What makes you persevere the most?"

My immediate answer to this question is knowing that others before me have dealt with worse.

I know it's hot outside, but not nearly as hot as it is in Afghanistan or Iraq, and I'm wearing shorts and a tank top, not full gear. I some times think that my toddler doesn't have as much as others, but then I remember that he has food, a bed, lots of toys, and more clothes than I can keep washed. He's fine. He has never had to have donations for Christmas presents.

Sometimes, I think that there is no way I can make it through the day because he's driving me crazy. And then I remember that my Nanny had three children under the age of six and was dealing with dangerous chemotherapy and radiation. If she could handle that, I can handle an overtired, whiny, clingy, attitude having toddler.

Every day I am thankful that my child has no health, learning, or mental problems. That I can talk to and interact with my child for his every need is a wonderful thing that I know I take for granted. I know mothers who can't interact with their children, because they can't hear, don't understand, or are not interested in being social due to PDD disorders and I know they struggle much more than I do.

When I think that school is just too much, it's just too overwhelming, I remember that my Nanny (who overcame that cancer) went back to school in her late 50s while completely blind. At least I can see my work to edit it right? When something is difficult to learn, I know that if she could learn how to use a computer without being able to see a single thing she was doing, I can do it with sight.

I have more rights than millions of people before me, the right to have this blog in fact. Many generations of people could only dream of having a place to put their thoughts, because even speaking them out loud to a friend might not have been safe. I can go to church (or not) and I can decide what church to go to (or not).

As a woman, I am treated equally to a man; something my great, great grandma can't say. I can and do own land, exercise my right to vote and I even work. I don't complain about much job much, because it really is awesome. I love my job and I love that I can even have one.

I really have a blessed life. I am healthy, my child and husband are healthy. We have our own home. We have reliable cars. We can afford to pay our bills and buy groceries, which I know is more than some people have.

Knowing that someone else is struggling daily with something more difficult than I am drives me to succeed with the conditions I have. My life is good and there is no reason to complain; even though we all are guilty of that sometimes right?

What makes you persevere?

It's all about perspective.

PC or Mac?

2011-08-01T00:59:00.001-05:00

After seeing my friend's Macbook's battery life outlast my PC by hours, I've been considering getting a Mac of some kind. I would really like a macbook air, just because I love the portability of it, but I'm not sure if I want to deal with the smaller hard drive and lack of optical drive, which I already am dealing with.

Here's my pro/con list.

Pro:
-Battery life
-Display
-Backlit keyboard
-Fun features
-Magnetic charging cord, I've had several issues with the standard PC adapter

Con:
-Cost
-Smaller hard drive, which equals more cost (buying an external)
-Lack of familiarity

I'm sure there are more on both sides, so I'm asking you. Are you a Mac or a PC? Why? Which would you recommend?

Thanks in advance!

Stupid Milk Ads

2011-07-31T22:49:00.001-05:00

I read this ridiculously funny blog, The Bloggess. She writes super funny posts on her blog and also a few other columns. My favorite is the one about picking your battles. But all that is an aside, to her most recent post about the Milk Campaign.

This new ad campaign is the type of thing that just really both, gets under my skin and makes me wonder at the insanity of those who approved it? Maybe they don't really care because they know people will buy milk no matter what their ads say? Who knows.

I personally think these ads are incredibly tasteless and there is just so much wrong with them, on so many levels. I just won't go there, but I will say that I'm so glad they came to their sense and decided to pull the ads.

New York City Trip

2011-07-30T16:39:00.001-05:00

Have I ever told you that I've always dreamed of living in New York City? I grew up in a rural area on a family farm in Oklahoma, but I've always had big city dreams. I had these huge dreams of NYU and city life. I always knew it was just a dream, but it was fun to think anyway.

After I fell in love and had a family, I still dreamed of visiting NYC. This past spring, Chance and I got to go spend some time with his best friend in NY state and while we were there I had so much fun and only wish we would have had a little more time to spend.

Right now I'm preplanning my next trip to NYC, whenever it may be. I just need to go back, it's like a siren's call. But as I was planning last night, I realized that I never actually posted any pictures or story from New York City! How dare I right?

Arch and I on the train from Albany to NYC

We started out taking a train in from Albany. That was my first train experience, and compared to a tiny little plane it was fantastic! The seats were wide and comfortable; you could get up and move around. Archer loved it. It was a 4 hour train ride, but it was fun and actually kind of relaxing. As we came into the city area we started being able to see bridges over the Hudson which was too cool. I loved seeing the skyline in the distance. It made my heart race.

Early views of the skyline from the train.

As soon as we got into the city, we went from Penn Station to the Empire State Building which was only a few blocks away. Walking up out of the train station was so neat. The sun was out and the buildings had halos. I was in love for sure.

We actually walked up to the back side of the building, which was our first mistake. We were immediately drawn in by some guy who worked there and wanted us to take his tour. He asked where we were from, "Oklahoma" we said, and he knew we were suckers. One hundred and fifty dollars later we were heading inside and waiting in line for a really dumb 3-D "ride." Archer thought it was fun, but I would never pay money to do that again. The ride was something you could do online, but even still, we got to go up to the observation deck, take pictures, and just look around. I wasn't as fascinated with it as Chance and his friend were, I think it was the builders in them, they liked seeing those massive structures towering all over. I just wanted to get on the ground again and look up.

From the Empire State Building we took a cab to Central Park. We wanted to see the carousel, the Alice in Wonderland Statues and the Hans Christian Anderson statues. We got out of the cab, he dropped us at the east entrance to the park. It was cold and cloudy and we should have known better. We got about half way there before we decided it was too cold. We trudged back out and hailed a cab to the hotel because it was freezing. We wore light jackets and my poor son's pants were riding up near his knees because he had grown like a weed and they had become high-waters nearly over night. I felt awful and he was cold and tired; so we took a cab.

I got the hotel on Priceline's name your own price feature (which I love by the way) and I got it really cheap. I had called ahead of time to tell them we needed two double beds, but of course once we got there it was a single queen, which doesn't work with three adults and a baby. We called down and they fixed us right up. It was a very simple process, but one in which we are mostly certain my child lost his hatty-hat. We didn't realize the hat was missing until a few hours later, and then we were too late to run to Children's Place in Time Square for a new one. Luckily we found an oversized one later.

We got our stuff unpacked at the hotel and tried to decide what we wanted for dinner. Because it was chilly out and we were tired from traveling we settled on a restaurant a block away called Eamon's. It was decent, but nothing I would rave about. Next time we would skip it unless we were going to have a beer or two also.

Times Square

We went back to the hotel again and warmed up before walking down to Time's Square. The lights were awesome, and it was so much warmer there than anywhere else. We headed directly for Toys r Us. Chance, Jeremiah, and Archer headed hopped on the ferris wheel while I took pictures. After the never-ending ride we wandered around the store a little and let Archer pick a toy. He chose a Buzz Lightyear with wings, because one, he loved it and two the little boy he had played with the night before had one. We also got to look at the dinosaur and the Lego figures. Archer was scared to death of the dinosaur and is still scared of it when he talks about it.

Archer, Chance and Jeremiah on the Ferris Wheel

The scary dinosaur.

On the way home I sent the boys ahead while I wandered over a block to Starbucks. A nice hot coffee was great and I relished the few moments alone walking the streets I had once dreamed of frequenting. Chance, of course, was all paranoid something would happen to me in that one block, it didn't.

The next morning we got up fairly early and took a cab to the Public Library. It was neat, but I didn't really get to do anything but take pictures out front because I didn't want to drag my noisy kid around in such a building. He wanted nothing more than to run free, play on the stairs, and hear his little squeals echo. From there we grabbed breakfast (muffins and donuts) from a street vendor and hopped another cab to St. Patricks' Cathedral. It was gorgeous, even under construction. We actually went on March 16 and I wished we had been able to go on the 17. Arch and I lit a candle and said a prayer for the Tsunami victims and went back out onto the streets to meet his dad who was smoking. Jeremiah stayed in the hotel and slept, the slacker.

In front of the Library.

St. Patrick

We looked into the windows of the stores and snapped a few pictures, but again, the cold and then rain kept us from doing much.

Saks 5th Avenue (I think)

We took yet another cab (which was not the plan at all, we wanted to walk, it was just too cold) back to the hotel, packed our stuff back into bags and checked out. We took a cab to the Museum of Natural History. It was really fun, but Archer was tired and restless and wasn't really interested. I realized about mid trip, that he was really too young for NYC and I regret taking him. We would have had more fun if we had waited until this summer when it was warm and he was just a little older.

Museum of Natural History

Chance and Jeremiah getting a street hot dog.

After the museum, the plan was to grab a hotdog and take the subway to Penn Station to wait for our train. The got the hot dog, but Chance wanted to walk through Central Park again since it was a little warmer and the rain had stopped, and try to find the statues of Alice in Wonderland, because Archer loves Alice. We set the coordinates in our phone, but it was clear across the park. We got nearly there and Chance decided he was going to take a short cut through the grass. Except, if you'll remember, I said it had been raining all morning. The "grass" was hidden mud, which soaked my shoes and jeans and nearly caused me to fall on my face. The temperature was still in the low 50s so jeans and shoes/socks soaked did not make for a fun trip back to the train station. I was pissed, Chance was mad because I was mad, and it was just no fun.

Chance and Arch got to see Alice, I didn't go.

I pouted for an hour or two, instead of really enjoying my time. We got on the train and headed back to Albany. The sun was out the entire train ride, which was a weather anomaly for the trip; most of the time we had been there so far it had been cold and cloudy and just yucky.

My trip to NYC was a little disappointing, but it wasn't the city itself. It was the weather and my attitude and taking my sweet toddler before he was really old enough to enjoy it. The next time I go, will not be with child. I will enjoy myself much more without him, and then when he is older I will take him back. We will explore the park, check out all the dinosaurs in the museum, and ride the ferris wheel in TRU. He will remember it and we will make great memories. Maybe he'll even dream of living there someday like I did. I can only hope.

Here's to my next trip, and I hope it's soon!!

Recipe: Chicken and Biscuits

2011-07-29T19:42:00.002-05:00

I'm not very good at writing recipes, but I came up with this today and thought I would share. It was super easy, and could be modified to be even easier.

Quick and Easy Chicken and Biscuits

-1 Steamable bag of frozen veggies or a large can of vegall
-1 Microwave bag of red potatoes (pre-washed) or canned potatoes
-1 Family sized can of Cream of Chicken
-1 can Jumbo Biscuites
-10 oz of Chicken Broth
-3 Chicken breasts roasted (Could also use canned chicken or a rotisserie chicken)

I roasted my chicken in a 400 degree oven for 45 minutes, covered with foil in a baking dish sprinkled with olive oil. I heavily seasoned it with coarse salt, pepper, paprika and garlic powder, but these are just my favorite seasonings. You could use a rotisserie chicken or canned chicken just as easily. After it cooked I reserved the juices and cut them into 1/2 in chunks.

Microwave the steam bag potatoes for 8 minutes, steam the vegetables in the bag for 3 minutes. Quarter the potatoes, they should be almost cooked but not completely so that they can absorb the soup. Mix the can of cream of chicken and broth in mixing bowl with half a can of water. Add in vegetables and chicken, as well as the juice from the chicken. The consistency should be slightly thinner than the cream of chicken (like pudding Chance says). Bake the vegetable and soup mix for 15 minutes at 400.

Add biscuits. (I only used one can of 9 biscuits, and staggered them throughout the pan.) Return to oven, bake another 15 minutes at 350 or follow the directions on the biscuit packaging.

Other than the chicken, I didn't season it at all, and it didn't need it. It was so tasty that we ate half the pan before I could get a picture! :)

About blogging...

2011-07-29T08:00:00.000-05:00

I have really debated whether or not to even address this, but I feel like I need to; for no one but myself.

You see, blogging is a really personal thing. You are putting your words and thoughts out into the world for everyone to see, judge, and agree or disagree with. Does that bother me? Not really. It does make me think really hard about the things I put out there. It makes me cautious. If you know me in real life, you'll know that I have an opinion on everything, well maybe not everything, but still... I'm very open minded to the opinions of others, and I frequently ask others to share their opinion with me. That doesn't mean I will change my mind, but it frequently happens. I am persuadable. In fact, I like for someone to propose an argument that will make me change my own mind about something. Really.

I also really like discussing current events. I think it's really important to know what's happening in the world around us. I love being able to ask questions of others and find out why they think what they think. My dad is really big on this too, and sometimes I'll just call him to ask what he thinks and we'll talk forever about it. It's really neat to me because we usually have really different perspectives of the same event and analyze it with completely different sets of life experience. What I like most about it, honestly, is hearing something that makes me think of the situation in a way I hadn't before. One of those, Ah ha moments that changes my whole mindset.

As I said before, a blog is a place to put how you think and feel about things, your personal thoughts and opinions. So when someone comments negatively on your blog, it's as though they are commenting negatively on your personal thoughts and feelings. I'm a pretty laid back person, and I let things like that roll off my back most of the time. But three days ago I wrote a blog about the uproar over kids being banned from restaurants. I wrote my own personal thoughts and feelings, and I know the thoughts of others also. I figured that some people wouldn't agree and I expected at least a few someones (depending on the traffic that day) to tell me why or how I was wrong and attempt to engage in a healthy debate. I'm fine with that, as I said, I'm pretty persuadable. What I didn't expect was to be told that I shouldn't be a mother. I did not expect for my teaching license or job to be threatened. I did not expected to be told to grow up. I really didn't.

Let me assure you, I didn't cry or get my feelings hurt at these negative comments. It angers me that someone who either knows me in real life would say these things anonymously in a blog comment, someone who is my friend on facebook and did the same, or doesn't know me at all and came across my blog in some other way would say these things. The amount of actual life that gets put into this blog is minimal and definitely not enough to actually say to me that I shouldn't be a mother (based on one blog post.) The amount of life that gets shared on facebook is a little more, but still, not all that much. I use facebook as a platform to share photos and links; to chat with friends and family. I rarely discuss work and any kind of advocating I do for my students and others with special needs on facebook. In real life, I'm a pretty closed off person. The people who know me well know a lot about me, and those out the fringes know some, but I try to keep my private life private either way.

I am posting this, sharing my feelings with you to say that if you disagree with something that I post here, tell me politely (or even rudely if you have something to say other than personal attacks) and let's discuss it. I'm more than fine with that, I like it. Tell me why I'm wrong and expect me to tell you why you are. It's give and take, and I enjoy it. If you think that what I write is awful and you never again want to read it, unsubscribe. Please. Because if what I'm writing offends you to the point of leaving rude anonymous comments, we probably won't be friends. I only post my blog in a few places, so chances are unless your my facebook friend you won't see my unless you search me out.

The commenter who left their comments anonymously, left me unknowing whether they are or aren't a facebook friend or fanpage follower, so I again say to Anonymous, if you are my facebook friend or follow my page, please unfriend me or unsubscribe. I do not appreciate anonymous rude comments questioning my ability to do my job as a mother or a teacher, as chances are, you don't know me as well as you think you do. If you leave anonymous comments on any other post, I will remove them.

To everyone else, thanks for reading!! I appreciate every comment and site view. It makes me feel as though someone does like what I'm reading and that I'm doing something right!! So, from the bottom of my heart, Thanks! :)

Link Party!

2011-07-29T01:23:00.001-05:00

Because I love finding new blogs I've been taking part in some link parties lately. It's a ton of fun, and I've gotten a lot of traffic; plus I've found some new blogs to follow and stuff I like! Maybe even some stuff to make? We'll see if the creative bug catches me or not!!

Wanna link up too? Head over to Simple Home Life and add your blog post too!

Eminem

2011-07-29T00:59:00.001-05:00

A fellow blogger commented on my two minute post yesterday about Eminem. Her statement was, "I actually think he taps into popular culture in a really interesting way" and I have to say, I totally agree. I have a little input about it too.

Eminem came onto the rap circuit when I was just starting to become a rebellious teen, even though I wasn't that rebellious. Here was this rapper who was saying things that were totally un-PC. He was saying things that no one else would dare say, and he was making money doing it.

I still like Em because he doesn't only rap about gang like things, making money, or some of the other things that are popular in rap lyrics. He talks about emotions. He was says things that he really means, not just what he thinks people want to hear.

One of my all time favorite Eminem songs is Sing for the Moment.

"These ideas are nightmares for white parents Whose worst fear is a child with dyed hair and who likes earrings Like whatever they say has no bearing Its so scary in a house that allows no swearing To see him walking around with his headphones blaring."

Doesn't that pull you in? The music hits hard and is accompanied by Aerosmith, which really only makes it better. It's the really raw emotion throughout the rest of the song that makes me see exactly what he's saying, feel like I'm part of it. In other songs like Mockingbird, a song spoken directly to his daughter, I see the humanity in him that a large part of society likes to pretend isn't there. He is real, he has a daughter and is doing what he is good at to provide for her even when doing that is taking him away from her. That's real and makes an impression on me.

He also raps about things that no one else will touch, like Michael Jackson and sex tapes. Some really ludicrous stuff, I'll admit. But it takes courage to put that kind of stuff out there and say the words that nearly everyone around you is thinking and whispering about, but no one will say.

Mostly, I can say that popular culture, like me, likes shock value; likes hearing things that no one else is saying or doing. We like hearing wild and crazy things, the drama draws us in. We're human, right? But really for me, it's the really truthful lyrics, the raw words and emotions that create a picture in my mind, and his courage to call people out and say the things he wants to say instead of holding them in. Mostly the latter.

If you see me on a bad day, you can guess that I'll be listening to some really loud Eminem. There's a little insight about me, in case you didn't know. Music is great therapy, and listening to someone say the things I wish I could is even better for me

Two Minute Post

2011-07-28T16:31:00.002-05:00

I read online yesterday about a 2 minute blog post. Basically, you give yourself two minutes to write about whatever you can come up with.

As I was reading the post, I was listening to Eminem, who is one of my favorite musicians. Surprising? Maybe. But it always chills me out and relaxes me. Even more surprising? I'm sure. But I thought I would take two minutes to share my chill music with you.

Q&A Session: How many kids?

2011-07-27T14:32:00.001-05:00

Do you ever wonder what it would be like to have 7 children? Can you even imagine it? Do you ever wonder what it would be like to have only one and be finished?

In my desire to learn about the different perspectives of having children, I asked two of my facebook friends to share about their situations. The first person I talked to, Michele, has a daughter the same age as my son. This woman has gone through so much in her life as a mommy and I truly value her input. I was so glad she agreed to answer some questions and I just loved her answers! Hope you enjoy them, and get something from her answers as well.

1. How many children do you have?
We have 8 children, 7 living.

2. How many children did you think you would have, before you had any of them?
Haahaa...honestly, I never wanted any kids before I got pregnant with our first. Funny little story...we're catholic so we had to talk to the priest before we got married...you know, to make sure we were compatable...haha...well, one of the questions that he was going to ask was if we both wanted kids. The priest just so happen to have to step out of his office for a moment after he asked the question...and I told Tony that I couldn't lie to a priest! He was insistent that I tell the priest that I wanted kids or else he wouldn't marry us. So, being scared about this...I told the priest I wanted lots of kids...and now look at us.

3. How many siblings do you have? Did that affect your decision in the number of children you have?..
Ahhh...Tony and I both have 6 siblings...yep...7 kids on both sides. Its funny because we always say that it was meant to be. In Tony's family, there is 6 boys and one girl. In my family, there is six girls and one boy...AND...we are both identical twins!

4. What was the biggest adjustment from child to child? (1-2, 2-3, etc)
It was very hard for me to go from none to 1 child...mainly because he was a preemie with colic...bad colic. My second child was very laid back, she was very easy. After that...it was like old school...until Kenny and Nick (my micro preemies born at 23 weeks gestation) were born. All our energy and focus had to go to the NICU and then when Kenny came home. Balancing hospital stays, medications, medical equipment, sicknesses, seizures with 5 other kids was very hard...then to find out I was pregnant with Gina (the youngest) when I brought Kenny home from the hospital was a HUGE shock...but very welcomed. I questioned why I couldn't have my son Nick here but ended up pregnant with another child. Now I know why...Gina has helped Kenny learn to do everything. She is his little mommy, his buddy. Now...the older kids really step up and help out with the younger ones...It all just kind of fell into place.

5. What is the biggest challenge to having the number of children you do?
There are a few...
Keeping up with the laundry! haha.. no really!
Being crowded in a little 1100 sq. ft., 3 bdrm home...but even that...we make it work and then everyone asks us about our bills, but really, we shop thrift stores, get hand me downs from people, and use coupons. We don't have credit cards and send 5 kids to a private school...we just had to reset our priorities of life.

6. What do you think would be different if you only had one child?
Oh wow...we'd definitely have a LOT more money to be able to do things and have things like other people...but that would be boring. :)

7. What has been the most important lesson as a mommy?
That each kid has their own personality and way of doing things. That yelling does NOT work and that parenting takes a whole lot of energy and courage.

8. Any regrets or things you would change?
No regrets at all...but changing something...I wish I could have changed the fact that I delivered my twins too early only to bury one and have one with many different needs...but even that...it has bonded Tony and I...strengthened our marriage. We cry together, work together in every way, and talk about everything. We have learned a whole new life...so have our kids...to appreciate the little things in life. That materialistic things don't mean anything.

9. Are you absolutely finished having children?
Since Gina, we have had 3 miscarriages. To say we are done...I am leaving it open. I am getting up there in age, so whatever will be, will be.

10. Any tips for new parents?..
Oh yes...make time for each other. Tony and I went through our rough times but we worked together, understood that we were both exhausted from lack of sleep and change in lifestyle (having a child is very stressful) and we just held on for the long haul...it does get easier. You have to make time for each other...always hold hands. Oh...and make sure you have a package of wipes in the car at all times!

Isn't that just really inspirational. I myself cannot imagine having seven living children! Eek. My energetic boy is enough to make even question two on most days, but knowing that it can be done really puts a lot of other things in perspective doesn't it?

Next up is a friend from school. Nicole has been a great source of support for me in school, and knowing her family choices have also helped me...but I'll share more after!

1. How many children do you have?
One, my nine year old son Kade.

2. How many children did you think you would have, before you had any of them?
Three or four.

3. How many siblings do you have? Did that affect your decision in the number of children you have?
Two. Not really.

4. What do you think would be the biggest challenge of going from one to two or more at this point?
I'm too old and set in my ways to have an infant and a 9 year old. Also, health concerns. (For the record, Nicole is NOT old.)

5. What is the biggest challenge to having the number of children you do?
I worry about my son being alone now and in the future when tough times (like death of a parent) come along.

6. What do you think would be different if you had more than one child?
My one would get less attention (which could be good or bad). My husband would get less attention. At this point, it really would not work with our circumstances of me working and being in school. Our whole schedule would need revamping.

7. What has been the most important lesson as a mommy?
Most important lesson is to listen. Having an only child is tricky, and fun! I have learned great lessons from Kade when I take the time to listen.

8. Any regrets or things you would change?
There are plenty of regrets. I would have been less Type A about a lot of things (like potty training)...but, more than regrets I am glad that I am at a place in my life that I am able to see my son as a real gift...a blessing that is bigger than I will ever be. Sometimes I regret silly stuff like not saving certain things (:

9. Are you absolutely finished having children?
Yes. One is enough.

10. Any tips for new parents?
Whether you are a young or old parent, a new or experienced, remember that every kid is different and we need to bend with all the crazy stuff that comes along with parenting. There is nothing better than being a mom (or dad). And nothing should be taken more seriously (while being light hearted enough to have fun with your kid). See, parenting is full of contradictions, but as long as you love unconditionally, everything else should work itself out.

I love Nicole's answers too!

I mostly like to model myself after Nicole, because she has an only child, which is where I wonder if Archer will end up. We constantly try to justify our sons being only children, and Nicole told me that anytime she talks to someone who is an only child or a parent of an adult only child, she always asks questions to make sure they are doing okay.

I guess the point of the blog for me was seeing that it can be done either way. I loved hearing both sides of this, and feel free to add your own perspective in the comments or do your own Q&A session on your own blog!!

Kid-Free Zones

2011-07-27T00:52:00.002-05:00

I know before even posting this that I will most likely be in the majority of my parenting friends on this opinion. A current phenomena in our culture is banning children; be it from restaurants, first class, or even movie theaters.

As a parent, I'm supposed to be outraged at this, I think. I'm supposed to be angry that my child, and possibly myself, is being discriminated against. But, truth is, I'm not. Parents and children should be allowed anywhere, right? We have a right to be anywhere without being discriminated against, and if that means a nice restaurant or a movie, then so be it. But I just really don't think that way. I think that if I want to go to a nice restaurant on a date with my husband, I don't want my kid to be there. And I don't really want anyone else's kid bothering me while I'm there. Does that make me sound like a totally unsympathetic person? I'm sure. But really, if I'm going out to somewhere nice, I'm probably sending my kid to my mother who is paying the toll herself, or I'm paying a babysitter: and if I'm paying a babysitter, I most definitely don't want some one else's child screaming and tantrum-ing near by.

Does this mean I think all restaurants should be allowed to ban children? Not at all. I just do not think it's a big deal if some choose to do so. This choice, by the way is 100% legal. Any privately owned business can choose to discriminate against anyone for any reason. Not only is it legal, it's a common marketing practice. It's all about making money in the capitalistic society, and if banning children and drawing in parents with babysitters and DINKs (Double Income, No Kids) makes them money, more power to them. If I'm without a babysitter, I'll go elsewhere or we'll eat in. I really do not have an issue with some restaurants choosing to not allow children of a certain age.

In addition to restaurants banning children, lots of other places are jumping on the bandwagon. An airline recently banned children from first class and is tossing around the idea of creating family only and adult only flights. While I can imagine people with enough money to fly first class might care about this, I do not have this much money so it's not even a blip on my radar. I do actually like the idea of adult only flights and family only flights too. As a parent, I know that my child is going to get restless on a flight much longer than an hour or two, and I would love to be able to fly without worrying that his busy self is going to bother the person in front or behind us. I tried my hardest to keep him as quiet as possible and to keep him from kicking the seat in front of us, but I can't tie him down to the seat and sometimes it just happens. Having a family only flight would really relieve some of that pressure, and not just because I think that people without kids are jerks who have no sympathy for parents and thus will get angry about anything that happens. I know for a fact that this isn't always the case as on my last flight they mixed up our tickets and a man gave up his aisle seat and took a middle seat so that Archer and I could sit together. I personally know that my child can't sit still for two hours without being loud or kicking something, and I hate that he acts that way in public. But I also know it's unavoidable, so like I said, I'm for the family flights.

Theaters also have specific hours for families to come and watch. One I read about online had days and hours for families with children under six. I haven't seen any local theaters do this, but I also don't see this as much of an issue. I don't really take my kid to non-G/PG movies, so I'm not sure if this law (and I mean this in the figurative since, not an actual legal fact) applies to them also or not. If so, that's really dumb and most likely losing them money. I have been in movies with crying children who should not be in said movie. We watched New Moon on opening weekend and it was filled with children and babies, some of whom were crying. That, to me is totally unacceptable. Get a baby sitter. It's not a child friendly movie and babies aren't necessary. I'm really sorry to the moms who can't get a baby sitter or who can't leave their kids for reasons like breast feeding. I really am. But I paid a ton of money to watch that movie, and I don't think that it's fair for someone else to bring their kid to cry through it. Like I said, I have sympathy, I really do. But when I was breast feeding, I didn't go out. It was easier for me to stay at home and be available to feed my child. The few times we did (and could afford to) go out, it was very near home with a babysitter at my house so that I could come straight home and feed him.

And that's where I hop off the child banning bandwagon. While I am willing to accept that I do not have the "right" to be where ever I want in public with my child, I am not on board with banning children from being in the public. Who said that? I found this blog article discussing recent trending topics on twitter, one of which being "places young children should be banned from." Some of the places were ludicrous, like condo-courtyards. Other people were commenting on them and suggesting that people with children actually don't bring them out in public until they are older. Others suggested that the be shipped via Fed-Ex while parents fly in planes or that they wear leashes and muzzles in public. That's really just taking it too far and I truly hope they were being facetious.

My other complaint with this bandwagon is the mass idea that so many parents these days just don't discipline their kids. I honestly don't think that's the problem. Consider, if my child has a tantrum a few times in a store (ever by the way, he's usually very well behaved in public, and we always get compliments on how polite and quiet he is) and your child has thrown a tantrum in a store, then chances are people are really just seeing a lot of the same tantrums and they aren't so wide-spread, just an occasional thing. Does that makes sense? My point is, I think that even a handful of kids having the occasional tantrum, all over the country seems like a ton of mis-behaving kids when it's really not that many kids or tantrums.

I also hate hearing how it's the parents fault. I'm not going to sit here and say it isn't. Parenting is the leading cause of children's behavior, positive and negative. If you reinforce bad behaviors, they will happen again. If you reinforce (or don't reinforce) good behaviors, they won't happen as much. BUT, like my previous paragraph, I don't think it's this global epidemic of horrible parents. I think that I'm a good parent, I really do. I always strive to have a well behaved child, and probably have expectations a little too high in that department (especially considering his genetics haha), but I am the first to admit there are days that I just say "Whatever, if it makes you shut up, then do it!!" I know that's awful, but if you're sitting there judging me and you have kids, shame on you. You've been there, I know it. We all have. We all give in and let our kids do things that they shouldn't be doing because sometimes we need the easy way out. And sometimes it's ok, just not every day. If you're sitting there judging me and you don't have kids, double shame on you because you have no idea what I'm talking about and I know, because I've been there and done that and I was wrong.

If you see my kid throwing a tantrum in public, please know that it's not his typical behavior. He's a little busy and a little loud, but he is not a brat and I am the only one allowed to call him that. I put a lot of hard work into teaching him not to throw fits, not to act ugly, how to act polite, the nice things to say, etc; and it doesn't always work. He is a human, not a programmed robot, and he has free will. Sometimes he doesn't act the way he's been raised, but I don't think that's a reflection of me. I think there are a variety of reasons, and some of them are probably me and my parenting, but he has learned a better way. And those days are probably the days I should have more patience and teach him even more. But I don't. So I don't. And there just isn't much I can do about it. If you have an issue with that and own a business, ban us.

Like I said, I'm sure many parents won't agree with the majority of this post. I do think that we as parents should stand up for the rights of our children, but I don't think that going to any restaurant we as parents want to drag them to is a right, in fact, I know it isn't. But I do think that there are many rights we should stand up for, and I try my very hardest to do so.

My big guy acting sweet out to eat at Texas Roadhouse.

Here are the links used as a reference and inspiration for this post.
No Kids Allowed Movement is Spreading
Stop Discriminating Against My Kid